The Hardest Seduction
by PonderRose
Summary: Set in a world where everyone has one power or quirk. Anastasia (or Sia as she is called here) is offered a job by Christian Grey to work as his manor's beautician. Anastasia is able to make everyone look perfect- everyone except herself. But Christian still becomes entranced with her after his own quirk fails to win her over. Took inspiration from My Hero Academia. Enjoy!
1. The Quirk

"It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife."

-Jane Austen, _Pride and Prejudice_

They say the opening line relays the most important information of a story. This is mine: I was washing myself in the shower. "Sia! Hurry up! I gotta go in like five minutes!" My roommate banged on the bathroom door. My eyes rolled exasperated as I made myself get out of the warm, perfect shower. Wearing nothing but a towel, I then came out to meet a very well-dressed Kate. "Ok, let's go. I'm outta time," she said in her rushed voice. Ugh, why didn't she just have me do this sooner? Or at least before my shower.

I came over to sit beside Kate on the living room couch and proceeded to kiss both of her cheeks. She instantly got up to examine herself in the mirror, a delighted smile blooming across her now rose-red lips. "How do I look?" Her head turned back to me. "Perfect," I replied honestly; it's true, she looked flawless. She squealed in an excited manner. "That quirk of yours is the best!" "For everyone else maybe," I cracked a sour smirk. "Oh, come on. You don't need it anyways. You're beautiful already!" "Thanks."

"So what are you doing today? Any plans, you know besides working on your PhD proposal for the millionth time this month?" "Just an interview downtown. Some CEO bigshot wants my services for a presentation he's giving at the university next month," I sighed; I hated interviews like this. They were going to use my quirk regardless if they liked me or not- what was the point? "A CEO, huh? What's his name?" Kate inquired while she put in a set of earrings. "I think his name is Christian Grey." "Wait… the Christian Grey? Head of Grey Enterprises? Why would he need you? He's already super hot." "I have no idea. His people just contacted me telling me to come to his office this afternoon." "His "people"," Kate snickered.

"To be honest, I thought about declining. I really don't want to go." "What are you talking about, Sia? You need the money; you could barely afford the admissions' fee for your application. If you want to get your PhD, you're gonna have to take on side jobs like this." "It makes me feel cheap when I make rich people prettier. Doing it for underdog models and my friends is one thing; doing it for the super-elite is another," I stated. It's true; I detested big corporations reaching out to me. My quirk was rare but not highly regarded in polite society; it was kind of like the prostitution of quirks. Everyone publicly frowned upon it, calling it shallow and immoral- but people still wanted my services in private. What everyone seemed to forget the whole while is that I had no control over what my quirk was; I didn't ask for this. Especially when the only person it didn't work on was me.

"Well, you need to get over that. Rich people pay the most," Kate flashed me a brilliant smile, to which I responded in like. "I know, I know… well, it's just one job. I'll make him more gorgeous for his presentation and move on with life. Hell, maybe he'll pay me enough to cover all my admissions costs." "Now you're talking," she reached for her purse. "Good luck with your interview, Kate. You're gonna do great." "Thanks! I'll text you and let you know how it goes. Have fun downtown," I watched her head for the front door; it was a small apartment. "Ok! I'm off!" "Will you be home for dinner?" "No; it's night two for me," Kate's quirk was that she only needed to eat every three days. Helped her figure immensely. "Right. I'll just make myself something easy then," I gazed over to the kitchen ponderingly. "Why don't you just get something downtown?" "Money." "Oh, right. Well, on that front, have not-fun-but-a-still-considerably-pleasant time at your interview." "You're asking the impossible," I smiled. A sincere smile for the time.


	2. The Evil Receptionist

I took a copy of Candide with me on the train into the city. It was a long ride, like forty minutes or so. I'd like to live closer to downtown but money was just too tight. And I know what you're thinking: "why didn't you just drive there, Sia?" Because I sold my car to pay for masters. I used to want to be a publisher or editor when I was in undergrad, but something changed after graduation. I found myself wanting more education- I suddenly wanted a PhD in literature. Which meant that masters was also necessary. So here I am, with me now car-less and riding the train everywhere.

Mr. Grey's building wasn't difficult to find once downtown. It had this huge "Grey" sign on it- classy. It did make me wonder though what his quirk might be. The only other rich guy I'd met- some man in his fifties- was an oil tycoon. His quirk was x-ray vision into the natural ground; boy, did he exploit the hell out of that. He wanted me to make him look younger for a date with his mistress. I was in grad school at the time and obviously declined; he had me thrown out of the building. Hopefully Mr. Grey was more reasonable.

The ground level was busy when I entered; no one noticed me. The receptionist glared up at me like I was the biggest intrusion however. Gees, would it kill her to learn how to smile at guests? "This is private property, ma'am," she sounded just like you'd imagine. I immediately frowned, already starting to regret my decision to come. This Mr. Grey better pay well, even just for making me deal with her.

"Uh, I'm here to see Mr. Grey." She snorted. "Name?" "Anastasia Steele." I had to keep my eyes from rolling as she typed firmly on her keyboard. Did she think I was lying or something? Her dull eyes scrolled back over to me and she scowled bitterly. "Oh yeah, the "beauty girl"." What was that supposed to mean? "You don't like the most beautiful version of yourself," she had the audacity…

I just looked at her for a long second, unsure how to respond. She actually thought that couldn't be my quirk because I didn't look like Aphrodite? What kind of twisted logic was that?! Everyone's quirks had a flaw or weakness; this happened to by mine. Eventually I just decided to go the honest route. If she still didn't believe me… well, I could leave; I didn't owe anyone here anything- yet. "Um, my quirk doesn't work on me," not that it's any of your business. "Clearly," she snorted again. This woman….

But she must have believed me since she stood up and motioned for me to follow her. "This way." We went to the elevator and she pressed the eleventh floor. Neither of us said anything more until we were inside going up. On the way, I caught her peering at me through the corner of her eye. I turned my face to her but didn't say anything. She caught on and positioned herself so to face me.

"So your quirk, making people more beautiful…." "What about it?" My eyebrow raised. "Nothing." "What's your quirk?" I really had no interest; just didn't want to talk about mine anymore. "Levitation." Alrighty then; at least hers was useful to her. Another brief pause. "Could you…. use your quirk on me?"

This caught me by such surprise that my mouth literally gaped open. First she insults me at the front desk and now she wants to use my quirk? The opportunity for petty revenge slipped in here. I shook my head. "I only do paid services." I was half-expecting her to call me a whore or bitch, like so many before. But you can't imagine my shock when she slipped me a folded twenty-dollar bill. Oh…. Well then. She silently gave me the money and I kissed both of her cheeks.

"Wow!" She beheld herself in the mirror behind us. "You're right! I'm like ten-times more beautiful now." "Just for twenty-four hours," I mentioned. "That's how long it lasts?" My head nodded. She just gazed back at herself in the mirror. "Too bad; you could be the most beautiful woman in the world. A shame really…" She's telling me, my eyes lowered down in front of me.

The elevator dinged and the doors slid open. She escorted me out, taking me straight to a set of two big, dark wooden doors. I looked at her, expecting her to announce my arrival, but she held her hand out at the door handle. "Go on. Mr. Grey is waiting for you." Now you have to understand that I'd never seen pictures of Mr. Grey, or at least I don't think I have. I had no clue what to expect, but I had a feeling he was probably like my first wealthy client- sexist, entitled, greedy, and old. Great, looking forward to interviewing with that, my eyes inwardly rolled. I also noticed how the receptionist hid behind view of the door; she knew that Mr. Grey would see the difference in her face. With a deep, deep sigh in, I shut my eyes and put my hand on the door handle. Well, here goes nothing, I told myself as it pushed open.


	3. Mr Grey

I opened the surprisingly light door and saw him. Him- Mr. Christian Grey. He was staring out of the gigantic window with both of his hands planted firmly on the sill, and even if it was just for a second, it gave me the opportunity to get a first impression of him. He was tall, slender but not in a stocky way, and looked relatively young- I'd say around my age, maybe a year or two older. Within seconds he spun around to face me, and we stared wordlessly for the briefest of moments.

Mr. Grey's mouth opened slightly, and I didn't know what to think when he proceeded to blink at me several time, like he was confused. What would he be confused about? He must have known that I would come in, unless he forgot about our appointment. His face wrinkled a tad and his eyes kept shifting to and from me; again, like he was perplexed or something. But this only lasted for a minute or so, giving me more time to analyze my client.

Kate was right. He was gorgeous. It was obvious that he didn't need my quirk, which led me to assume that the only reason I was here was because of his presumably massive ego. It wasn't enough to be naturally good-looking; he had to be physically perfect. And without realizing it, that first quiet moment he gave me allowed for me to come to a bitter though unsurprising conclusion- he was vain, so incredibly vain.

After that initial moment had passed, Mr. Grey's eyes widened and he shook his head as if to clear it. "Miss Stelle," he said in the most perfect masculine voice you can imagine. That's not me swooning either; it was more so a casual observation. I remained stationary as he stepped over to me with intention. "Please, come in," he practically escorted me to a leather chair facing his desk. Not sure if I should say anything or not, I let him take the lead; I was used to dealing with professors, not CEOs. Once I sat down, he went to lean on the front of his deck opposite me. And for the life of me, I couldn't figure out why he still had the puzzled look on his flawless face.

"I only have ten minutes, Miss Steele." Fine by me; I didn't want to be here for longer than that anyway. Stuffy, business-type environments made me uncomfortable. "Ok. So you're looking to hire my services, sir?" I detected the tiniest pleased grin appear in the corner of his right lip at my utterance "sir". It was faint, but I caught it. "Yes. I am giving the commencement address at this year's graduation ceremony next month." I wanted to say something like "good for you" but refrained; who knows what'll offend this guy. Instead I continued to sit there and wait for him to continue this "conversation", if you could call it that.

"Will you be available then?" Mr. Grey eventually asked; I don't think he was impressed by my silence. Like I said, impossible to know what is wrong or not. "Yes, sir. I can do that." "What is your fee?" "Uh…." I hadn't really thought about that. "Maybe five hundred?" Says the woman who just took a twenty to give a mean receptionist the beauty treatment.

There was a pause- a pregnant pause. Was that too much? Did he expect to pay less or…..? "This is not your full-time profession, is it Miss Steele?" "Um, n-no. I'm a grad student," this caught me off guard. I don't like discussing myself with clients; they don't need to know about me, no matter how attractive they are. "I see. What are you studying?"

I blinked up at him for a minute, trying to formulate an appropriate answer. "Erm, Mr. Grey, I don't mean to be rude but we're running out of time. I don't want to keep from your next meeting," nailed it! He couldn't possibly take offence to that, right? His gaze sharpened onto me. Right?! "Miss Steele." Oh god, what have I done? See?! This is why I don't like the corporation world. There's too many unwritten rules and ways a person can screw up. My heart did skip a beat however- several beats- when his palm started twitching. It wasn't compulsive; more like he was angry. Why that made me chest suddenly feel ten pounds lighter is beyond me….

"I asked you a question. I wouldn't do so if we didn't have time. Now, tell me what you are studying in school." I just…. what? No one…. I mean, I wasn't used to people talking to me like that. So direct and sincere. I felt immediately compelled to comply, just by his tone of voice alone. The sincerity in it…. "U-uh literature," I blurted out, like a moron. He grinned, seemingly satisfied with this. Ok, great! He's happy- now we can wrap this up and I can get the heck out of here before my heart starts beating through my chest. You can't imagine my relief when the door unexpectedly opened revealing another woman I'd never seen before. "Mr. Grey, your next meeting is in the conference room." Thank god! I'm saved! "Cancel it, please; we're not finished here." What?! No; no, we're done. There's no reason to continue here. I'm outta here like a lightening bolt. But I knew I had to be polite, so I motioned to stand up. "Oh, please, Mr. Grey! Don't keep them waiting on my account. I'll just…" "No, we're not done. Do not worry, Miss Steele; it will be fine," he waved his hand for the lady to shut the door. She did and I never felt my stomach drop faster. Nervously I gazed back to him, only to see him grinning once again in satisfaction. "I'd like to know more about you, Miss Steele."

Uh, me? Why? What could he possibly want to do with me? "Uh…. um…." Because of this, I didn't really know where to begin. Luckily, or unluckily, Mr. Grey took the reins of our discussion back. "You said you were an English major. Tell me, was it Charlotte Briante, Jane Austen, or Thomas Hardy who first made you fall in love with literature?" What kind of idiotic question was that? I simply stared at him gobsmacked. I knew he was trying to show off his "extensive" knowledge of the classics, but oh boy did it backfire. If he wanted me to tell him about myself however, I found my perfect chance. I smiled and folded my hands on my lap, ready to obliterate his stupid, shallow query.

"Albert Camus, Leo Tolstoy, and Fyodor Dostoevsky. The first work that woke my interest in literature was Camus's _The Stranger_. I wrote my undergrad honors thesis on _The Underground Man_, and my master's thesis on _Anna Karenina_. I have written papers on Camus, Sartre, Austen, and many others, and plan to write my doctoral dissertation on the nature of fiction," I couldn't have had a smugger expression. And judging by the dumbfounded look he had on, I say my planned worked. I was honest; if you want honesty, you'll get honesty. We merely stared at one another for a second as Mr. Grey stumbled- if only for a second or two- to wrap his head around what I had just said. Then, much to my shock, another delighted grin bloomed across his face.

"I see. So you're well-educated then." "Uh, yes?" Was not expecting that. "And you're applying for your PhD now, I take it?" "W-well, yes; this fall actually." "That is quite an undertaking, Miss Steele; and for someone so young." Really was not expecting that. "T-thank you, Mr. Grey!" My voice cracked; I had no idea what I was doing now. I thought I'd impress him but not like this. He looked at me….. and it's almost impossible to describe. His eyes glimmered with a tint of admiration in them now, if that makes any sense. It was faint because clearly visible, and it unnerved me a little. "You're full of surprises, Miss Steele." Correction; it unnerved me a lot.

Then, like a title wave, the whole reason why I came here in the first place came flooding back. Holy crap! What was I doing? It'll be late soon and I've gotta get going. Mr. Grey's eyes suddenly grew in surprise and slight alarm as I quickly stood up. "Miss Steele?" He immediately straightened up, like he didn't want to be the only one sitting in the room. "S-sorry, Mr. Grey; we got off topic. Uh, yes! Yes, I will do the job for you. I will uh, use my quirk on you before the ceremony." Quirk? Wait a minute, I didn't even know what his was yet….. but there was no way I was going to ask him like this.

"Well, thank you, Miss Steele. I'll have the information sent to you." "Thank you, sir." Mr. Grey eyed me for a second longer; that confused look returning to his already-perfect face. "I will send a direct deposit of five thousand dollars to your account." This made me almost trip over my own feet on my way to the door. "F-Five thousand….?!" My head shot back towards him. Once again, he wore that dashing, debonair smile; I didn't know how to feel about that smile. "O-oh, Mr. Grey; that is much too much! I really can't…." "Since you do not have a fixed price, I'll decide what's appropriate. I say your services are worth five thousand to me." That's not… what? "Really, sir. I can't accept….."

"It's not up for discussion. And another thing- what are you doing this Friday afternoon?" "Uh….. I… I don't know. Why?" "I'd like to have coffee with you." I must be dreaming; this can't be real. I don't think I want it to be real. "I don't drink coffee," my mouth spoke before my brain gave it permission. He chuckled like this was cute or something. "Then tea. Do you like tea?" "Well, yes but…." "Then book off this Friday at three. I have another job prospect I'd like to discuss with you."


	4. Application Fees

"Five thousand dollars?! Are you serious?!" Kate yelled from the bathroom; her interview went well. "Yeah! And he set the price too," I meanwhile was at my laptop busily typing away. I was editing my personal statement for the like the hundredth time. "I don't even get why he wants your services. He's already gorgeous." "I know, right?!" Oh well; it'll help pay for my first semester of PhD anyway. If I get accepted, that is.

"What was he like?" "Ugh, horrible! He's like "sit down" and "don't leave". He's your typical spoiled rich boy turned entitled rich man." "Uh huh. Did you ever think that maybe you're being an unreliable narrator?" "Are you gaslighting me?" I shot the vacant hallway a smirk. "No. I'm just saying you seem to have this thing against rich people, ever since that one guy threw you out." "Like hell I was going to help him have an affair on his wife. And hey! What do you mean I have this thing against rich people!?" "Just that. A "prejudice" if you will," she exited the bathroom, immediately sending me a wink.

"Oh, no. Don't you go all _Pride and Prejudice_ on me. Mr. Grey is nothing like Mr. Darcy." "Oh yeah. You do know that Elizabeth hated Mr. Darcy at first too, right?" "That's because he was a rude jerk to her." "And Christian was…..?" I glared at her sharply now. "That's totally different. Elizabeth never worked for Mr. Darcy. I'm Mr. Grey's temporary employee; keyword, temporary." "Sure, sure; whatever you say. By the way, while we're on the topic, what's his quirk?" "I don't know; he didn't say."

Kate reached for the remote while I went back to my typing. Thing against rich people, really! I didn't have any prejudice against Mr. Grey; he was just a total jerk. That's all. Like the most ironic thing ever, I got an email that moment; it was from the university. Oh goody! Maybe it's my potential supervisor with her revised research proposal. I quickly opened it, only to find it was from admissions. Huh, that's weird; why would they contact me now? I haven't even applied yet.

"I'm gonna make some popcorn. Want some?" Kate broke my train of thought, making me flinch upward. "Uh, yeah; sure." She got off the couch by the time I started to read the email. It basically thanked me for paying my application fees in advance. What?! "I didn't do that!" I thought out loud. Kate froze for a minute to turn back to me alarmed. "Didn't do what?" "My application fee; my PhD application fee. Someone paid it!" "Oh really?! When?" "Uh… it says today! The full amount got paid today!" Panic peppered my tone. This was serious! The university wouldn't mess up with something like this; if it said it was paid, it was paid. Only who paid it? I had no clue.

"Huh, weird. Could it have been your dad?" Kate returned to making the popcorn. "I….. I guess so! I don't know who else it could have been. Kate, that's like five hundred dollars…." "Wow! You scored the jackpot there." "Daddy's talking about retirement in a couple of years. He can't just… what should I do?" My eyes rolled over to her, deeply conflicted. "Nothing! It's paid! Now all you need to do now is submit the application, right?" "Well, yes but…. is it right for me to just let him pay like that?" "If he's willing to pay, then take it! We're friken poor, man. Call him tomorrow or something, but don't worry about it. Let's watch a movie and eat popcorn instead." She's right…. I think. Still I wanted to call my father and thank him; I would this weekend after my dreaded tea date with you-know-who.


	5. The Deepest Recesses of My Memory

"_Awe, don't cry, Ana. I think your quirk is great! But you don't need it; you're already beautiful," my friend, Lucas, tried to console me. We were in second grade and just coming into our quirks. While most kids got cool powers like flying and ice breathe, I got the beauty quirk. I'd be thrilled if it worked on me….. but it didn't. It just didn't; my quirk was virtually useless to me, and it made me cry. "You're the prettiest girl in class, Ana! Everyone knows it; your quirk won't change that," Lucas draped his arm over my shoulder. "I want a different quirk. I don't want this." "I know….. I know," his hand kept stroking my hair as our head rested against each other. _

"_Alright, children! Time to come in!" The teacher's voice boomed across the playground. "Come on, Ana. Let's go inside," Lucas stood up and offered me his hand, which I took. My eyes were still wet from all the crying. It was time for the older grade's recess; we both had friends in the third grade but unfortunately, we never got to play with them. As we were making our way to the front doors, a familiar voice chimed over to us. "Lucas! Ana!" "Oh hi, Christian!" Lucas waved at our mutual friend. He was in a grade above us and was quite skinny with short spiky blonde hair. Christian and Lucas were best friends, despite Lucas having a bit of a crush on him. The boy reached us and smiled. _

"_Hi guys! Going in?" "Yeah," Lucas answered for both of us. It didn't take Christian long to recognize that I'd been crying. "Ana, what's wrong!?" "She doesn't like her quirk." "Awe, but it's… a useful quirk." "For everyone but me," I whimpered. "But you're already really pretty; you don't need it!" "That's what I said," Lucas exclaimed. "I don't care! I wish I could fly or something like that. You both have cool powers." Lucas and Christian looked at each other. "Well uh…. yours is cool too." "Yeah! You can use it to get rich!" "Christian's right. You're gonna be super rich when we're older." None of this helped. I just sulked and kicked the ground with my foot. _

"_Don't worry, Ana," Lucas noticed when Christian reached out to take hold of my hand. He was always doing stuff like that, trying to hold my hand and what not; but I had no idea why. Why would anyone want to hold my hand? That's what lovey-dovey adults do, and we were kids. Just kids. I gazed up to Christian with my sad, watery eyes. He smiled, tightening his grip on my hand… for some reason. "It doesn't matter what your quirk is- all that matters is who you are on the inside. That's what counts most." "Christian…." "Anyone who really cares about you will see that." _

My eyes fluttered open. I was sitting at the table with my breakfast right in front of me. Toast with butter and tea- classic. My chin was resting on my palm as I stared thoughtfully down at my reflection in the teacup. "What?" "Huh?" My eyes slowly wandered up to see Kate drying off her dishes. "You zoned out there just now." "Oh, yeah… I was just… thinking." "About what?" "It's crazy but I knew this boy named Christian when I was young; like really young. Haven't thought about him in years. Meeting Mr. Grey must have reminded me of him." "Really? What was his last name?" "I have no idea. We were young; we never talked about our families much. He got adopted and moved across the country at the end of grade four; his grade four. He was a grade ahead of me," my gaze scrolled back down to my tea in a pondering, sincere manner. "He was so in love with me…." I said without thinking; I wasn't thinking, I was remembering.

"So what happened? Did you keep in contact after he moved?" "No. He confessed his love to me on graduation day- well what our school called a graduation ceremony. I told him I didn't love him…. and that was that. Strange, I hadn't thought of him in so long…. I never saw him again after that day. And no, I know what you're thinking and he's not Christian Grey." Kate just set her dish down and turned to face me, folding her arms. She didn't say anything, but I knew what she was thinking. "I would know if I saw him. Besides, Christian's a really popular name; we had like six in our school." "Yeah, your right. That would be almost statistically impossible; too bad," she signed. "I wonder how he's doing. He probably doesn't even remember that I exist," I cracked a side-grin. In a way, I hoped he didn't; looking back I hurt him pretty badly. Definitely something I'm not proud of.

"Oh, he's probably got a family and living abroad. You'll never see him again; that's how childhood friendships work. You think I'll ever see Charlie Minkus again?" "You had a friend called Charlie Minkus?" I laughed. "Yeah. You're not the only one to have a boy crush on you when you were younger." This made me laugh more; just what I needed. And just as fast as Christian came into my mind after so, so many years, he vanished once again; going back down to the deep recesses of my mind….. and heart.


	6. Pink

"_Your call has been forwarded to an automated voice messaging system- beep- hi, you've reached Ray Steele. Sorry I missed your call but if you leave your name and number, I'll be sure to get back to you- beep!"_ Damn, voicemail again. "Hi Daddy! It's me; um, if you could give me a call back, I'd like to thank you for yesterday. Thanks again, bye." I know I decided earlier that I'd call him after my meeting with Mr. Grey but thought twice. Daddy really helped me out there and I wanted to properly thank him as soon as possible. He hadn't answered any of my calls today; he must be in a meeting or something.

Sighing I put away my phone. I was going to the university to pick up some books; well, not pick them up per se. I couldn't reserve them since I wasn't a PhD student; I was only allowed to photocopy select pages, which I hated. My head turned casually to this small rolling hill across the road from where I was situated. There were some children running and playing on it. Without consciousness, my gaze began to focus on them in a detached fashion. Strange….. ever since I met Mr. Grey yesterday, I'd been thinking a lot about… well, maybe thinking's not the right word. More so remembering…. It wasn't even voluntary either; I'd just look or smell something and there it suddenly was- a sea of pictures, voices, and eyes… It was so bizarre. I hadn't thought of my childhood in years; at least not my first few years of elementary school. And yet all of sudden, here they were. My eyes lowered onto the joyous, carefree children. Here they were, from deep down inside of me…..

_Lucas, Christian, and I had a race up the back hill behind our school. Christian won, of course. Laughing hardily, we all crashed ourselves onto the grass and stared up at the sky; the wide, endless, blue sky. I thought it was the most perfect shade of blue that day. With the widest grin on my face, my eyes gently shut as I sucked in the warm, spring air. Lucas was on my left and Christian on my right, doing the exact same thing. I was only in grade one at the time, but I think this was when I learned what perfection felt like- me here with my two best friends in the world. Life couldn't get better than this. _

_We stayed like that for some time, simply laying there under that flawless sky. Then eventually Lucas rolled over onto his side to face both of us. His head rested on his arm while he twirled a blade of grass in his free hand. "You look happy, Christian," he said, sounding much too mature for his age; course, I didn't think so at the time. "I am," Christian drew in such a big breath that his little chest expanded. _

"_Is that because you just got your quirk?" Christian, being in the second grade, just developed his quirk not too long ago. He opened his eyes and also turned to his side. "Yeah, it's really neat! And helpful." "You're so lucky, being able to read minds… I hope my quirk is that cool," my eyes were the last to gently flutter open. That's when I saw Christian looking at me, if only for a second. As if embarrassed to be caught, his gaze immediately went down to his hands, which were also playing with a piece of grass. "Yeah but… it's not perfect." "What do you mean?" Lucas asked confused. "I can't read everyone's mind…" He admitted like this was something to be ashamed of. Lucas and I just watched him curiously. _

"_Whose minds' can't you read?" I wasn't expecting Christian to look straight at me, but he did…. he did. "It's really frustrating," he then sighed, peering back down. "O-oh! Well why would you want to read my mind?" I asked, completely flabbergasted. I didn't know his quirk didn't work on me. "Yeah, why?" Lucas also inquired; a hint of worry peppered in his tone. Christian didn't answer for a moment, instead tossing the grass he had fiddled with away. "No reason…." _

"_It's still a really cool power, Christian." "She's right; no quirk's perfect. And your power's one of the best in the school." "We don't even have our powers yet." "Thanks, guys," Christian shot us a grin. Then, just for the briefest of seconds, I caught him watching me again. It was like he was confused about something…. or maybe trying hard to read my mind. It could be… Knowing he'd be mortified if I called him out, I merely smiled at him. His cheeks suddenly flushed a sizzling pink and his head darted to the side. I never understood why he'd blush like that around me sometimes… _

_Maybe he's still embarrassed that his quirk doesn't work perfectly, I figured to myself. Poor guy, but this was completely normal. The perfect quirk doesn't exist; we were taught that from an early age. Still, I wanted to make him feel better. He was one of my best friends, after all. "I like your quirk, Christian. I hope mine's like yours." "Do you really mean that, Ana?" He peered back at me through the corner of his eye. I nodded, still smiling at him. Then Lucas had a thought. "What's it like not being able to read someone's mind? Is it just black or….?" Lucas! I fired off a glare in his direction. This was obviously a sensitive subject for Christian, and he really wasn't helping. But to my surprise, this seemed to make Christian consider intently. He stared off into nowhere like he was trying to think of the right words. And then he looked at me… he looked at me with the softest expression on his face. _

"_It's hard to explain. It isn't black; it's more like…. a color, just a hazy color. Soft, and kind of glowing like a light. It's warm…" I just blinked at Christian, totally not expecting that. But he continued to lock his eyes onto mine. I couldn't help but notice the pink return to his cheeks, but he didn't look away. I don't know why, but he didn't. My mouth opened as I tried to formulate what to say. "D-do I have… a color?" A brief pause, none of us reacting until he finally nodded. I do? My lower lip began to lightly quiver on its own accord. "W-what is…. what's my color?" Christian's eyes lowered onto mine, his lips parting a sliver. "Pink, like cherry blossoms. Your color is pink." _

I used to hate pink; then I looked into her mind one day, and it suddenly became my favorite color.


	7. That Smile

I stood there, mouth agape and arms full of books, in front of the broken copy machine. Seriously?! The one day I come down to the university and the library's copier is broken? I can't take these books out either since my account is suspended until I'm accepted for PhD. Ugh, no! This can't be happening. I need these books! And I can't come back tomorrow because of my meeting with Mr. Grey, and the library's closed this weekend. What am I going to do? I do have a spare copy of Pride and Prejudice at home, but the other ten works…

I nervously bit my lower lip as the department's receptionist typed away into her computer. My stomach felt like it dropped clear out of me when her head gave a shake. "I'm sorry, Miss Steele. Only staff members and PhD candidates can take out those books. They're on reserve." "Please! I'm a master's graduate and I'm working on my PhD application. I really need them. Isn't there some way I can borrow them, even for the weekend?" She watched me for a second before letting out an exasperated sigh. Hope began to fill me as she got up from her chair. "Just give me a minute," she then turned to go into the back part of the office; the section where all of the offices were. I held my breath and crossed my fingers, praying to the university gods that they might grant me this. Please, please! I'm begging you, university!

"Miss Steele?" My heart suddenly skipped a beat- several beats in fact- at a familiar, unwelcomed voice reaching my ears. Oh no… I immediately spun around to face the most shocking, unexpected figure. "M-Mr. Grey!" An alarmed gasp erupted from my lips. In retrospect, I shouldn't have been so surprised that he was here; he was connected to the university after all. Still, why was he here- like "here" here, in administrations. He looked equally as surprised to see me as I was. Neither of us said anything for a moment, me quickly brushing some loose hairs behind my ear. My god! What is he doing here?! This couldn't get any worse.

"Good afternoon, Miss Steele. Nice seeing you again." Oh, now he tries to be all prim and polite. Well, two can play at that game. I straightened up and looked him right in the eye. "Thank you, sir. I wasn't expecting to run into you here." "I came to speak to the dean," cause of course you did. My eyes gave a dramatic internal eyeroll; gees, he talks one-on-one with the dean and I grovel to get library access. Talk about existing in separate worlds. "What brings you to administrations? Handing in your application?" "Uh, n-no sir. I um… uh…. am having some difficulties with the library." "The library?" His eyebrow perked up in confusion.

Mr. Grey's opened his mouth again to continue talking but we were interrupted by the receptionist. She returned with this defeated expression. Uh oh. "I'm sorry, Miss Steele, but until you're officially a PhD candidate, you can't take out the books. I'm really sorry; university policy." No….. My eyes winced shut while I spun back around to her. This isn't happening…. This can't be happening, and in front of Mr. Grey too. "What's this about?" You can't imagine how high my heart leapt up into my throat as he approached the desk, standing a little too close behind me for comfort. No, no, no! Why me? Why me?! What did I ever do?!

"Mr. Grey!" The receptionist's eyes got gigantic; I was startled when she actually stood up again. He didn't respond, just stared at her for a minute. Oh yeah, cause what's staring going to do? You think that's going to tell you anything? Eventually however, his perfect head gave an understanding nod.

"I see. If you would please, Miss Evet, print Miss Steele a card linked to my account." There was a pause- a very, very pregnant pause. "Uh, y-yes sir," she started rapidly typing away. While she was busy with that, Mr. Grey gazed over at me; the lines on his face much softer this time. It was like he was trying to stifle a smile. "That'll give you access to all resources; public and private, including all reserves." My jaw couldn't have dropped harder. Seemingly happy with this, he turned to give the receptionist one last glance. "Thank you, Miss Evet." Then he turned to leave. He was going to leave after…. H-holy… Holy hell! I just won the academic jackpot lottery, and I have no clue why my benefactor would….

"Mr. Grey! Mr. Grey, wait!" He paused as I opened the door he just stepped through. He didn't spin to face me right away, keeping his back pointed at me. I on the other hand, was breathing heavily with flushed, pale cheeks. "Why did you…. why did you do that?" "Why?" He repeated, still not looking back at me. A light spring breeze sweep over us while I waited for an adequate reply, and when it was clear he wouldn't carry on, I continued. "Y-yeah, I mean… you don't even know me. Why would you help me?" This wasn't a little deal either; this was big, really big. Did he want something from me in exchange? What could that possibly be? Something sexual? Surely not. But still, there must be something… there must be.

Mr. Grey took a moment- quite a moment to himself. His hands were buried deep into his pockets and his expression… well his mouth was a thin, thoughtful line. It took some time for his upper half to shift towards my direction, allowing the soft wind to sway his short hair and coat a little. "Your research's important to you, right?" My eyes grew in utter shock. W-why… why the hell would he care about that? He's a billionaire businessman and I'm a nobody postgrad… He shouldn't give a flying fock about my research, should he? "W-well, yes, but….." His eyes gave me a look which told me to shut it, which I instantly complied.

We stared into each other's eyes for I don't know how long. It was probably ten seconds or so, though it felt much longer. Then, just then, I could have sworn I saw the faintest hint of a smile- a true smile in the corner of his mouth. It was…. it was beautiful, and not only in an aesthetic way. It felt like he was looking at something- or someone- he truly admired and enjoyed gazing upon. And for the pithiest of seconds I remembered what that feeling of perfection was like, the one I experienced laying under that endless blue sky so long ago….

This lasted for only a few seconds in reality until I gave myself a sharp mental kick. What's wrong with me?! Look at him! He's a billionaire and can any woman in the world he wants; why would he ever look at someone like me with that kind of smile….. and besides! I hated guys like Mr. Grey; vain, pretentious, egotistical, etc. Still…. Our gazes instinctively softened onto the other's. Still… "Don't forget, tomorrow at three," he then began to walk away, leaving me there with my unanswered question. Still, I knew that smile I just witnessed was something special, beautiful…. a work of art all on its own.


	8. Lucas

_It was the first day of kindergarten. My father didn't have much money, so I had to go to a local public elementary school. They promised to help us develop our minds and eventual quirks; Daddy felt confident enough sending me there. Me, on the other hand… It's not that I minded going to a public school; it's just I was nervous about starting school all together. We had just moved to the city and I didn't have any friends yet. _

"_Alright! Line up against the wall, kindergarteners!" Our teacher- I guess she was our teacher- voice's boomed across the playground. A bunch of kids my age were playing, all with each other. Meanwhile I was nervously hiding by the cherry trees near the back of the playground. I didn't know anyone, and no one made any effort to speak to me; and why should they? We were only five at the time and didn't have a good moral compass yet. I anxiously and quietly observed the other children and only adult in the area. Yeah, none of them were aware that I was there, and I think I was ok with that. Or at least, that's what I thought…. I thought until….. _

"_Hey, what are you doing over here?" I flinched at the unexpected intrusion. My head shot over to see a black boy, roughly my age, standing by one of the trees; his hand was resting against its trunk. No, not intrusion… He was no intrusion. "You all by yourself?" The mysterious kid took a step towards me. A boy I don't know… He's talking to me and I had no idea why; I hadn't really interacted with males except for my father and grandfather. "Didn't you hear the teacher? We're supposed to line up now." My little mouth opened but no words came out. Yes, I'd heard, but… _

_He watched me for a moment with this puzzled look on his face, then he grinned taking another step towards me. "Don't be scared; I'm in the same grade as you. My name's Lucas, what's yours?" "U-uh A-na….. Anastasia." "Wow! That's a really pretty name," his smile widened. "Y-you think so?" I whimpered. His head nodded. "But can I call you Ana?" "Um, sure; ok…" Daddy called me Sia but I suppose Ana also worked. "Ok then, Ana it is!" He beamed and I couldn't stop myself from half-smiling. This boy, he seemed so… kind and warm. He was gentle; I knew that right away. I don't know how I knew but I did… somehow, without my realizing it, I did. _

_Lucas's mouth opened to say something else, but the teacher cut him off. "Hey! Hey, you two! Come on, we're lining up!" My head spun in horror to see her addressing us. Oh no! My first day and I've already caused trouble, or so my young mind thought. Lucas turned from her back to me. "Come on Ana, let's go," his dark hand stretched out for mine. I gazed down at it ponderingly. His smile was so sincere and soft… Without any second thought, my hand took his; our fingers wrapping around each other's. Then, still smiling, Lucas began to lead me towards the rest of the class. _

I got home and rested my now very heavy backpack onto the table. Admittedly I took full advantage of my new library card, curtsy of Mr. Grey. My eyes rolled over into nowhere. Mr. Grey….. "Sia?! That you?!" "Yes!" I hollered back. "Oh wow, did someone have fun at the library," Kate came out from her room. She was all dressed up in a lovely red dress and currently fiddling to clasp a necklace around her neck. "You look lovely," I greeted her with a smile. "But not perfect. Could you…?" She leaned in so I could kiss her cheeks. Then she happily went to inspect herself in the mirror, an eager expression blooming across her face. "Thanks, Sia." "No problem."

"So how was the university? Got your books, I see." "Ah, well… it was….. interesting," I wasn't sure if I should discuss my run-in with Mr. Grey. Who knows; I may never see him again after tomorrow. I didn't want to get any hopes up or give anyone the wrong idea. Instead I redirected the conversation onto her, which was easy enough to do. "Going out tonight?" "Yeah, going drinking with some old undergrad friends. Wanna come?" "Never," I smirked, and she laughed. "Course. So what are gonna do tonight then?" "Lucas is coming over." "Oh really?! I love him; he's so sweet." "Yeah, he said he has some… news." "Uh oh," her grin faded. "Don't worry, I have facemasks and ice cream at the ready." "You're a good friend, Sia." "So are you. Have fun tonight, Kate; and be safe." "I will!" She headed back to her room and I turned to my books. I was about to do something until a knock at the door made me perk up.

It was already opened by the time I arrived. Lucas was standing there in his coat and plastic bag in hand. "Lucas!" A brilliant smile blossomed across both of our lips. "Hi, Ana," his arms opened wide to catch me as I ran into him. He lifted me up off my feet, embracing me tight against him. Ah, Lucas; he gave the most perfect hugs. He always had. Setting me down, I reached down to take the bag full of food from his hand. "Come in! I'll make you some tea." "Thanks, babe," this gorgeous man followed behind me, tossing his coat onto the couch.

Lucas then proceeded to sit down at the table and watch me cook tea for two. "Have a good day?" "Well….. it was…. alright. How was your day?" "Ugh, not that good." "Why? What's wrong?" I instantly shot around to face him. That's when I noticed this depressed aura about him; even just the way he positioned his hands…. Lucas drew in a deep, pained breath. "David and I broke up…." "Oh, Lucas! I'm so sorry!" I immediately came to sit down beside him and take his broad hand in mine. His other hand placed over it. "Don't get me wrong, he's a great guy…." "I know! I love David!" "So do I…. It's….. It's just not meant for us. We're great friends; not such great boyfriends…." "Lucas, I'm sorry. This is not your fault." "It's not anyone's fault… it's just the way things are… it just sucks that it took us three years to figure that out," his hand rose so he could rest his face in it. I didn't say anything, giving his hand a comforting squeeze.

Lucas remained silent for a minute, breathing deeply like he was trying to control his emotions. He never liked crying in front of people, even me. But I understood and wanted to support him however he needed, just like how he's always been there for everyone else. Eventually he peaked over to him, planting his cheek on his palm. "You know what I'd really love right now? Some of that Aloe Vera tea you got last summer." "One Aloe Vera tea coming up!" I rushed back to the kitchen counter. Lucas turned so to watch me. "What about you? What happened to you today?" "Oh, not much. I went to the university." "I see that," he pondered the mountain of books still resting on the table.

It was around now that Kate re-emerged from her room, now putting on a set of silver hooped earrings. "Hey, Lucas!" "Hello, Kate. You look very enchanting this evening." "Thank you. Hey, I overheard what you said, and I'm really sorry. I know how much you loved David." "Thanks, Kate," Lucas reached out to take her hand. She came over to give him a hug from behind while he was still sitting in the chair. "So what are you up two tonight? Recovery session?" Lucas sighed and I nodded. "Yep! Got the facemasks and ice cream ready to go." "Alright, have fun, or at least a healing time," she kissed Lucas on the cheek then headed to the front door. "I'm off!" "Ok, bye Kate. Remember, be safe!" "I will, I will!" Waving her hand around, she shut the door. I then turned back to the teapot and kettle in front of me. A thought came to mind.

"Hey, Lucas?" "Yeah?" "Do you… do you remember Christian? Like Christian from elementary school?" Lucas's face lit up for a second, his eyes glossing over in remembrance. We never talked about Christian; it was a sore subject. I watched Lucas then give a long, almost melancholy sigh and gaze off out in front of him. "Yeah, I remember him…." The anguish in his tone…. I waited a much-needed moment before continuing. "Do you… know what happened to him? I mean after he got adopted and moved across the country." "No. I think he got adopted by some doctor, but I don't know her name." "So, you don't know where he is now?" "No…" His eyes had that look again- "that" look. A longing, almost desperate gaze. "He's probably married and got a family by now," he said, electing to focus on his love-life instead of career developments. Then he looked out the window, his eyes lowering softly. "I hope he's happy, wherever he is…." "Yeah, me too."

Another silence fell over us. I poured Lucas's tea and brought it over. He flashed me a small grateful grin, waiting to speak until I sat back down beside him. "Why do you ask?" It was a legitimate question; we hadn't brought Christian up in years. "I don't know; it's weird. I've been thinking about him the last couple of days. I mean thinking about elementary school." "Oh, really? Why?" "I have no clue…." I watched my reflection in my tea. "Ana, are you alright? You sounded… weird just now." "Weird how?" I flashed him a clever grin. But his face remained firm. "Did something happen?"

"Well, kind of…. I'll tell you but you gotta promise not to tell anyone." "What is it?" I detected a tint of concern in his tone. "I've got a meeting with Mr. Grey tomorrow afternoon." "Mr. Grey?" His eyebrow lifted. "Uh, Christian Grey." "Who's that?" "Some super rich CEO. He wants to hire me for something, probably related to my quirk." "Oh…. so he wants to be your boss then?" "I guess. I doubt we'd ever be friends; royalty don't associate with commoners," I winked at him. "Huh, that's interesting. I've never heard of him before. What's his quirk?" "Who knows? He didn't say." "It's not… telepathy, is it?" "No, he obviously can't read my mind. It's probably something to do with duplicating money or manipulating stocks," I giggled, and Lucas gave me a playful shove.

"So you're gonna meet him at his office tomorrow?" "No, he wants to go for tea. See?! That's how I know he's not a mind-reader; he suggested coffee the first time." "You hate coffee." "I know!" I laughed. "Wait, tea? Ana, this sounds kinda like a date." "A date?" This caught me by surprise, making me freeze and stare at my beloved best friend. "If it wasn't a date, then why didn't he just ask you to come to his office- like a real professional?" "N-no, that's impossible; it's not a date. It can't be; he wants to talk about hiring me. Not a date setting if you ask me." "I guess you're right. It's just weird…" Huh, I guess it kind of is; I hadn't thought about it before. But Lucas was the kind of protective older brother type. I knew he'd like some reassurance. Grinning I took his hand back in mine, wrapping my fingers securely around it. "Don't worry, it's just one meeting. Nothing will happen- nothing." "Are you sure, Ana?" The smile I was wearing widened on my lips. "Positive."


	9. The Dreaded Meeting

"_Alright, babe. So I'll see you tonight?"_ "Yeah. Just come on over whenever you want," he had a key. _"Ok then. And um, would it be ok with you if I brought a friend? He's this new guy at work; I told him I'd hang out, but I really don't want to be alone with any guys right now."_ Poor Lucas. The wounds of his breakup were still fresh. "Sure thing. See you tonight." _"Bye, Ana. And good luck with your meeting."_ "Thanks," I hung up and slipped my phone into my pocket. Two-fifty-five; I'm early. I was a little nervous to see Mr. Grey but a lot less nervous since yesterday. Something about that smile… Funny, the more I saw it, the more comfortable I felt, if only superficially.

Almost mechanically, Mr. Grey arrived right at three on the dot. He was wearing a grey suit complete with a boring tie- of course. He came straight up to me and smiled casually, as one does when greeting someone. "Miss Steele." "Mr. Grey." "Come," he led me straight into the tea parlor. I'll say this- he chose the perfect place. Your traditional teahouse, decked with made-up tables, fancy teaware, and low tea snacks. I loved it upon first sight and was even happier when he took me to this little white-clothed table for two. It was so lovely that I almost forgot this was supposed to be a business meeting.

Like a proper gentleman, Mr. Grey pulled out my chair for me. "Thank you," I sat down, and he pushed me in. He sat across from me and didn't waste any time handing me the tea menu. "Order whatever you like." "Uh, t-thank you…. what kind of tea would you like?" I felt a little awkward ordering tea for the both of us. Tea isn't like coffee; there are several different kinds and ways to prepare it. One might like green tea but not black or oolong. But Mr. Grey just shook his head. "Whatever you order, Miss Steele. Choose." Ok! I will then.

Mr. Grey watched me study the menu. I didn't have long though, considering that the male waiter came over fairly quickly. He glanced first at me, then Mr. Grey. "Good afternoon, sir, ma'am. Our special today is English Rose with princess cake. What would you like?" "Um, could we get sencha in kyusu pot, please?" The waiter blinked to me in surprise and smiled. "Of course! Anything to eat?" "Uh, would you fancy princess cake, Mr. Grey?" "I told you to order what you like, Miss Steele." Wow, talk about polite pushiness. "Then yes, the princess cake please," I grinned handing the waiter the menu. His grin widened down at me and Mr. Grey frowned. Wait, why is he frowning? Is he upset? About what? With one last look at me, the waiter took off and I turned to face Mr. Grey.

"Is something wrong, sir?" "He finds you attractive." "Mr. Grey!" I gasped, putting my hand on my chest. Talk about an inappropriate comment. How would he even know something like that? The man just smiled at me; there's nothing wrong with that. "Do you take offense to my observation, Miss Steele?" "Uh…" Well yes, but how am I supposed to say that? Instead I simply frowned and lifted my head up. "You wanted to discuss a business proposition with me, sir?" He eyed me for a moment longer- once again, with that confused look on his face, like he was trying to read something- before leaning back in his chair. Power move there.

"Yes. But before we do, tell me a bit more about yourself." Uh, why? This seemed pointless; what was the point of him getting to know someone who'll be out of his life forever in two weeks? Still, he did really help me out yesterday and I knew it was right to at least try and be polite. "Well, I want to be a writer after I get my PhD." "Good." "Huh?" "I read some of your papers; you're good, really good." "Uh…. uh….." What? He grinned; not smirked, grinned at my dumbfounded reaction. "You're not the only with full access to the university's archives, Miss Steele."

Why would he…? I didn't feel insulted or betrayed…. I was more so confused. Why would my employer bother to read my works? And I'm just a masters graduate now too. Pleased with how this was going, he folded his fingers together and brought his arm up to rest on his chair. "Tell me something else." "What?" "Anything." "Ok, um… well I went to Morrison's High School out west. I backpacked through Europe, once when I was twenty-three and again when I was twenty-six. My favorite city is Amsterdam, but I also love Durham, Florence, and Malaga. Uh, what else…..?" All the while, Mr. Grey sat quietly and listened with intent. I'll admit, this was pretty weird; wasn't I here to talk about a job or something?

By now the waiter returned with our tea and food. Mr. Grey reached for the pot, but I stopped him, gently waving his hand out of the way. "I can pour it." So he let me, still keeping his eyes locked onto me the whole time. I poured his cup first and slid it to him. "Thank you." "Your welcome." "You seem very knowledgeable about tea as well." "Well, yes; tea is one of my hobbies. I've read all about the history of tea, how it's made, how to make it at home, and the like." "Hmmmm, interesting," his finger rubbed under his chin in a thoughtful manner. "I think so."

"And your home life. Are you in a relationship or….?" "Mr. Grey, I really have to stop you here. I don't mean to sound rude, but I don't see why we should talk about this. Please, tell me about the job instead." To my surprise, Mr. Grey seemed kind of stunned by this reaction. I don't think he was used to people telling me "no" or "do this". Realizing that the conversation wasn't going the way he had intended, he frowned- just a bit- and crossed his arms in a dominate fashion.

"Is this a sensitive topic for you, Miss Steele?" The tone of his voice…. He clearly wasn't ready or willing to discuss any employment yet- or ever. "N-no, I just don't think it's appropriate to talk about with my employer. You do realize the imbalance of power here, sir." He chuckled, like this was already painfully obvious. "Is that why you keep calling me "Mr. Grey"?" "Uh, because we are in a professional relationship? Yes. And you call me "Miss Steele"," I countered. Big mistake. His amused grin began to fade as his eyes sharpened onto me, giving me just enough time to realize my mistake.

"You're right; the power balance has shifted." Has it ever been equal? No, that would suggest that we've met before; likely before he became rich and powerful. "R-right. I respect you and your authority, sir. That's why I would never try and push our professional boundary," cause like I'd have a shot with you. "Did I set that boundary?" "Uh, w-well no but… I do have some experience with the business world," some, not much. He didn't know that, or did he? How much research did he do on me before this meeting or even meeting me? "Some being the key word, Miss Steele," boy, he could see right through that.

I didn't respond, just staring at him unsure what to do next. But my tea was getting progressively cooler and I wanted to drink some. Luckily for me, he motioned for me to take a sip, which I happily obeyed. He followed suit, drinking his own tea. "It's good," he then told me in a much softer tone. "Thank you…" We set our cups down in unison and gazed back up at each other. "I'm used to getting what I want, Miss Steele. But that always hasn't been the case." "In that case… I'll answer your question, if you answer it in turn for me."

Mr. Grey laughed; he legitimately laughed, though not a loud laugh. More of a sincere laugh to himself. "Your insubordination is astonishing, Miss Steele." "We don't have to if you don't want to," I offered; not so much to dig myself out of the hole I just made, more so to make sure he was comfortable. Why I suddenly cared about that, I have no clue. It was clear he didn't extend the same curtsy to me. He sat back in his chair and smiled at me. My heart immediately skipped a beat. That smile….

"Very well, we'll do it your way. But you go first." "Alright, sir. No, I'm not in a relationship. I haven't been since I left high school." "Did you have a beau then?" "Uh, yes… His name was Franklin and we dated for three years….." A brief pause fell between us. "And? What happened?" "He cheated on me….." "Oh," he was not expecting that. "It was a long time ago; I'm over him now." "But you haven't dated since?" "No. Apparently I have "prejudice" against rich young men now. Er, no offence." "None taken," his head shook thoughtfully. I don't know what he thought of my answer. When he didn't give his side of the bargain, I took a sip of my tea. "Your turn," I then reminded him.

Mr. Grey paused to glance over at me. It was almost like he didn't want to say what he was about to. His arms fell onto his lap and his eyes rolled away from mine, drifting off aimlessly into space. "I've had a string of short-lived relationships in the past couple of years. Nothing that lasted too long." "Oh….. so you've never been in love, then?" I don't know why I asked this. I shouldn't have… that was inappropriate; I shouldn't have asked. Mr. Grey's bottom lip twitched for a sheer second; it was brief, but I caught it. "Once, just once; when I was younger." "What happened?" Oh my god, stop talking, Sia! What is wrong with me? It's like I couldn't stop myself. He waited for a second, taking his time to continue. This was clearly a sore topic. "She….. broke my heart. She was my first…. and only love." "You never moved on?" Stop, Sia! My god! "You don't move on from a girl like her," his eyes moved so to meet mine. They were so soulful and deep… it was easy to forget that he was a billionaire for a moment. "I'm sorry, Mr. Grey. That sounds like it was very hard." "It was, and I promised myself I'd never go through that again." "I understand…" I did; I felt the same, after Franklin…. and Christian.

"Miss Steele, I won't beat around the bush anymore. I want you to come work at my manor house for me." Wait… My eyes slowly began to widen as my mouth dropped open. He wants me to do what now? "Uh….?" "You'd live there, of course. All your meals would be taken care of, as well as your clothing and medical costs." "Um…?" "I want you to use your quirk on my staff. It'd be your job to make them look perfect on a daily basis." "Uh…?" "You'll also have your own driver and access to the university, so to keep on track with your application." "Uh, Mr. Grey, hold on!" I literally stood up, banging my hands onto the table. Everyone looked in surprise, but I didn't notice; my full attention was locked onto him.

"Mr. Grey! Are you suggesting that I move to your place, just so I can use my quirk on your staff?" "That's the idea, Miss Steele; yes." "Wh-…. How…. Just…. What?!" I mean how vain and egotistical can you get?! He wants me just so his staff can look perfect?! What kind of shallow, brainless, classless job was that?! And move?! Who even said that was on the table? No! Just no! I still didn't even know this guy. No, absolutely not!

"Mr. Grey, this is so unnecessary!... I mean unprofessional," I hastily corrected myself. This is still a business meeting I had to remind myself. "Miss Steele?" That palm of his twitched; he was not happy. But I don't care. What kind of job offer was this?! "Sir, I can't and won't move. There is no legitimate reason for you to employ my services." "I'll be the judge of that," he eyed me sternly. This guy! "No; my answer is no. I won't do it." "Miss Steele, I suggest you reconsider my offer. This could be a very good opportunity for you." Yeah right; opportunity for what? I firmly shook my head. "No, I'm trying to get into PhD; I can't work full-time right now."

"You would only have to use your quirk in the morning. Then you could spend the rest of the day researching and working on your application. Pemberley has an extensive library and you could have your own office." Pemberley? Really? He named his manor after Mr. Darcy's? Oh, who cares? I don't have time and patience for this. It took all my effort to stand up straight and turn to grab my backpack; I don't carry purses. "Thank you for the offer, Mr. Grey, but I'm going to have to decline." "Miss Steele, wait. It would only be for the summer, and your salary would be substantial." "No thank you, sir. Now if you excuse me….." I started to walk away. This was insane; this was totally insane. I know he had money to burn but this was crazy.

"Stop!" The authority in his voice made my feet instinctively freeze, however. I didn't even check over my shoulder, but I could feel his eyes burning a hole right through me. "I will fund your PhD." This… this made me look up into nowhere. But I wasn't looking at nothing- I was looking at my possible future. F-fund… for my Phd? My mind suddenly went blank; it felt like I was sinking. Why? Why would he do that? Just so I could move in with him for the summer? Why would he want that? I had so, so many questions that would likely never get answers…. But…. but this was not something to just turn down lightly. If he funded my Phd, I could attend school worry-free. I could focus solely on my work…. I could get my PhD done in three years.

Slowly, very slowly, my feet spun around so I could face him. I just stared, simply stared…. This man… This rich, powerful man who should want nothing to do with me, was offering what felt like the world. And for what? Just so his household staff could look a little better? Something was off; I could see that clear as day. Something else was going on here below the surface, but I couldn't imagine what. Without words, without consciousness, my head nodded very softly up and down. Huh, looks like I could be bought- all it took was one whole PhD. But damn, I wanted that PhD; I wanted it more than upholding my prejudice of rich guys. If I was going to work for and live with one, then I'd do so for that sweet, sweet doctorate.

The look on Mr. Grey's face was pure victory, but not in a bragging sense. While I was still in a fog, he came up to me. "You'll do it then?" "Y-yes… I will," I heard myself say. "Good. I'll have my driver collect your belongings after my speech next week. You'll move in then. And don't worry about furniture; I'll supply you with everything you need." "M-Mr. Grey….?" "Yes? What is it, Miss Steele?" He sounded… so happy just now. "You're really going to fund my PhD? The whole thing?" "Yes. It's a drop in the bucket for me." Oh yeah, that's right; he's loaded. Still…. No words in the English language could adequately describe how I felt just then. I know I was being used for my quirk but hell, what a prize. I was just so stunned; I don't think it really hit me yet.

"Miss Steele, are you alright?" "I-I'm… I'm fine. Uh, I think I need to go home now," go home and lay down. I needed some time- a lot of time- to process this. "Ok, I'll have my driver take you there." "N-no, that's fine," I gave a weak attempt to protest. "Let's get something straight from the start, Miss Steele. As of now, you are under my employment; it is my right as your employer to take care of you. Do you understand?" "I understand…." I replied groggily. I didn't understand; my mind was way too hazy right now. "Good, then he'll drive you straight home. I'll see you next week, Miss Steele." "Y-yeah. See you then, sir…." I walked in front of me. He watched me with mild amusement and lots of pre-existing delight. I don't know why he was so happy…. I just don't get it.

"By the way, Miss Steele. Your mind is a lovely shade of pink today." "Huh?" I glanced over my shoulder confused. What did he mean by that? Was his mind foggy at the moment too? A brilliant, elated grin crossed his lips. "Until next week, Miss Steele." "Y-yeah, see you then, M-Mr. Grey."


	10. Breaking the News

"Hello? Anyone home?" Lucas called from the front door. I had been in my room crying on my bed since I got back. I didn't holler out, instead burying my face in my pillow. "Ana? Kate?" It didn't take him long to find me, straightening up at my doorway in shocked horror. "Ana!" I peered up to see him rush over to my bedside. "Ana, what's wrong?! What happened?" "Lucas…." "Hey, is everything alright?" An unfamiliar voice came from the threshold. "Can you give us a minute, Jack?" Lucas asked him. "Sure thing," my best friend waited until he left before scooping me up into his bronze arms. "What's wrong, Ana? You can tell me."

"I…. I had my meeting with Mr. Grey today….." "Wait," I felt Lucas's grip tense. I knew where this was going…. "Did he do anything? Did he do something to you?!" "No… well, kind of…. he… offered me a job…." A pause. "What kind of job?" "He wants me to come live at his place so I can use my quirk on his staff." Another pause. "That guy's insane. No, absolutely not; that's ridiculous! He can't ask you to up and move like that; you're trying to get into PhD!" "There's more…" "What? He wants something else? Treating you like a kept woman isn't enough?" A very long pause. "He's going to fund my PhD." "Ana!" I didn't even need to look to know that his eyes grew in astonishment.

I pulled back gently so to look up at him; his face was as flabbergasted as I pictured. "W-why… why would he do that? He doesn't know you; why would he do that, Ana?" "I don't know…. I really don't know, Lucas." "So, let me see if I got this straight. He's going to pay for your PhD just for using your quirk on his staff?" My head hesitantly nodded, everything flooding back to me again. I was so happy and confused and startled and just…. so, so many emotions. Lucas had just one emotion, however….. I watched his hands ball up in rage.

"He's trying to buy you. Why? What does he want?!" "I have no clue, Lucas…." "This is insulting, not to mention demeaning, to your intelligence! To hell with your quirk; he should be interested in your brain! You are well-educated! Not just something to make his house more aesthetically-pleasing." "I know, I know! Look, I'm not going to defend his actions, but think about it, Lucas. I'm poor; like really poor. You're right, we both know you are, but I really need the funding. If this will get me closer to a doctorate, then I'll do it. I'll sell myself to him."

"No, don't say it like that. He's just buying your quirk- not you." "Kinda contradicts what you just said," I flashed a side-grin. "No, it doesn't," Lucas brushed a stray strand of hair off my forehead. Our gazes focused onto each other's with mine lowering slightly. "I really want this, Lucas…." "I know you do. I just wish you didn't have to move; this is a big deal, Ana." "You're right. But Pemberley isn't that far, and I'll come visit. Plus, it's just for the summer." "Ana…." Lucas's hand went down from my cheek to take hold of my hand. He gave it a reassuring squeeze.

"If anything happens, I be there for you. I'm just a phone call away. If Grey touches you or even looks at you, I'll…." "I know… I know you will, Lucas," he'd always been super-protective over me. And I adored it. Still, he didn't have to worry; I'm sure Mr. Grey had no interest in me like that. "Just because he's rich doesn't mean that he can abuse you. He won't get away with it if he tries; not while I'm around." "He's not like that; at least, I don't think he is. Nothing will happen… I won't let anything happen." Lucas's grip tightened. "Franklin….?" My head nodded. "You only date a rich, entitled guy like that once; one Franklin is enough for me. Mr. Grey is my employer, and that's the way it's gonna stay."


	11. Jack Hyde

_Lucas and I were playing ball near the cherry trees. Lucas tossed the big, orange ball to me and I missed. It rolled off to where some older kids were playing. I innocently went to retrieve it, not concerned with the kids nearby. A sharp, ugly voice made me flinch as I reached down to pick it up. _

"_Hey! Who told you that could come over here? This is our part of the playground," an older boy, maybe a grade or two above me, spat. I gazed up to see three boys standing in front of me. "Awe, did the little girl lose her ball?" "Sure is a nice ball, much too good for brats like you," they laughed. I took an unconscious step back as the eldest- I guess he was the leader- came towards me. "Look, little girl; I don't think you know but this our "territory"," he said "territory" like he recently learned it and was eager to show off his vocabulary. "Yeah! No girls allowed!" "The ball can stay though." "Yeah, I think we have to take it, as payment for you coming over here." "N-no!" My tiny feminine voice squeaked. This only made them laugh harder._

"_Leave her alone!" It didn't take long for Lucas to rush over. He positioned himself protectively between me and the evil bullies. They didn't seem phased by this at all. "Well, well, well, if it isn't the pansy? Look who it is, boys!" His stupid friends started to point and laugh at Lucas. "It's the girly boy." "What are you gonna do? Hold our hands?" Lucas growled, clenching his jaw. Recently word got out that Lucas admitted to wanting to hold a boy's hand. That was not well-received in the school. I didn't think there was anything wrong with it; that was just who Lucas was. But these jerks weren't so progressive…. _

"_Come on, Ana. Let's go," Lucas reached down to hold of my hand. He began to lead me away from them, with me glancing back worriedly. "Hey! We're still waiting for the ball, losers!" "Just ignore them," Lucas told me, though he didn't sound super confident. "You fruit! I'm talking to you!" I literally screamed as one of them came over to grab Lucas by the back of his shirt. The leader flung him backwards straight onto the ground. "Lucas!" I shrieked, trying to get to him; but of course, idiot here had to block my way. He gave the most victorious, sickening laugh. "A-na…" Lucas writhed on the ground in pain. _

"_Hey!" We all froze at the unexpected intrusion. I looked, only for my eyes to light up at the arrival of Christian. He was running towards us with a very determined expression. "Get away from him!" "Awe, would you look at that, cupcake? Your boyfriend's coming to save you." "Shut up!" Christian didn't hesitate to confront the leader; boy, did he look mad. "How dare you hurt him like that?! What's wrong with you?!" "What's wrong with you? They're the ones who came here first. We just want our due payment." "They don't owe you anything! You better stay away from my friends, or there's going to be trouble." "Oh yeah? And just what are you going to do about it, Christ-ton?" He took a threatening step forward. _

_I observed this from the sidelines, wanting nothing more than to run to Lucas's side. But I didn't want to see Christian get hurt either; he was my friend…. my very dear friend. With tears forming in the corners of my eyes, my tiny balled up hands froze to my chest. "N-no, stop….. don't fight. Please don't fight," I began to cry. I didn't want to see Christian get hurt… I couldn't see that. The leader turned to me with this air of annoyance. "You whining brat," his skinny hand shot back around to hit me. _

_Christian's eyes glossed over as the world seemed to freeze for him for a moment. Then, with a voice that could pierce the sound barrier, he shouted at the top of his lungs: don't touch her! The leader was pinned to the ground in seconds. It gave me the opportunity to rush over to Lucas, helping him lift up a little. We glanced back to see Christian twisting the guy's right ear; he had an enraged flare in his eyes. "Aw! Stop it! You're going to tear my ear off!" "If you ever come near Ana or Lucas again, I'll…!" "Ouch, stop! It hurts!" The leader continued to cry. _

"_Stop!" Yet another booming voice shook the ground. And I mean that in the metaphorical sense; his voice was so powerful that everyone within fifty feet fell silent. All our heads turned to see the vice principal- I didn't know his name, we'll just call him Mr. Stern-Face- stomp over to us. He looked so scary that we all froze in place; even the bullies. He eyed Christian and the leader angrily. "Get off of him, Christian!" Christian immediately complied, allowing the bully to sit up. There was no blood around his ear, thank goodness; but it sure was red. Mr. Stern-Face planted his huge fists on his hips and scanned up all over. _

"_What is going on here?" "He tackled me to the ground!" "He hurt Lucas!" "We didn't do anything!" "He was going to hit Ana!" We all started explaining- or crying- at once. Mr. Stern-Face rolled his eyes before glaring back down to us. "Enough!" That shut up us. He then bent to one knee to examine Lucas and the leader. "Are you two alright?" "Y-yes," Lucas sniffled. "Yeah…." The leader was clearly in pain but didn't want to look weak. Mr. Stern-Face patted their shoulders and straightened up. "Alright, all of you, to the principal's office, now." "W-what?! What did we do?" The other two bullied cried. "Wait, Ana didn't do anything," Christian proclaimed. "Yes, she shouldn't have to go," Lucas added. "I said now!" _

_With that, we all stopped arguing. Mr. Stern-Face led the bullies towards the office while we trailed behind. Lucas gazed over at Christian with a soft, grateful stare. "Thank you, Christian…" "Are you ok, Lucas?" He asked. Lucas blushed and nodded his head. Christian then turned to face me. "I'm sorry I got mad like that. I didn't mean to scare you…." "You could never scare me, Christian," I smiled at him. "Now, you three!" You-know-who shouted at us. Christian and Lucas sighed simultaneously. "We're in trouble." "But at least we're in trouble together," I remarked, firing off a grin to both of them. I reached out to take Lucas's hand and Christian grabbed mine. Together we went to the principal's office, hand-in-hand the whole way. _

"Hey, are you alright?" I emerged from my room holding Lucas's hand. I quickly wiped my eyes and smiled at our visitor. "Yeah, thanks. It's been a weird day." "It's been a weird week. This is my new co-worker, Jack Hyde." "Hi, Jack. I'm Sia." "Pleased to meet you, Sia," Jack smiled, taking my hand for a polite hand grab. Awe, he seemed nice enough; pretty handsome. No Mr. Grey but still, definitely not ugly. "Oh, Lucas; she's lovely." "I know, right?" Lucas's arm draped over my shoulder proudly. "Would you like some tea? I can make really good tea." "I'm sure you can! Yes please; whatever you make is fine." Alright then! Sakura green tea it is.

I made us all a cup, bringing over Lucas and Jack's first. They were sitting at the kitchen table casually talking. "Thanks, babe." "Thank you," they smiled as I handed them their cups and sat down beside Jack. "So, Jack. What's your quirk?" "Poison," he took a sip of his tea. "Oh, you have one of "those" quirks," I remarked; some quirks were labeled as "deadly" or "hazardous" by the government. "Yeah, it's pretty useless, even for vermin poison." "How come?" Lucas sipped at his cup. "My poison only kills one thing each day. The upside is that I'm immune to all poison; the downside is I can't use my quirk literally at all." "At least you follow the law," I took him at face value; why would he lie to us? He grinned over at me. "Yeah, I guess being a law-abiding citizen is a positive." And I smiled.

"So, what about you? I know that Lucas's quirk is invisibility….." "Only my body; not clothes," Lucas's eyes rolled, and I giggled. "What's your quirk, Sia?" "I have the beauty quirk." "Oh, I've heard about that! You're like the human version of photoshopping, aren't you?" His fingers snapped. "That's a new way to put it," I laughed even more. "Can I try?" "Yeah, sure," my upper half leaned over to kiss him on the cheeks. With a wide grin, Jack ran over to the mirror to inspect his face. "Amazing," he whispered, rubbing his hand against his skin. "You'll look that way until midnight." "Midnight, huh? That's some quirk you got there." "Heh, one I'd do anything to exchange," my cheek rested on my palm wishfully.

"You could make a lot of money with this. Why aren't you on movie setting or in the fashion business?" Jack returned to our table. "Because I want a career using my mind, not my quirk." He considered this for a moment, nodding his head in this understanding way. "I get that. It's a fall-back at least though." "Well actually I got a job over the summer using my quirk." "Oh really? Where?" "It's for a CEO named Mr. Grey. He wants me to make his house staff more "aesthetically pleasing"."

Jack's face suddenly lit up in alarm; his eyes widened, and his mouth parted a sliver. "Wait… his name isn't Christian Grey, is it? Not Christian Grey?" "Uh yes? Why?" "You can't work for him! He's a monster!" Lucas and I merely looked at each other in surprise. "Um, what do you mean by "monster"? Do you know him?" "We went to the same high school. He's a total creep. He's always been this selfish, egoistical, low-life, womanizer." "Hmmmmm, well he did say that he's be through a lot of short-term relationships," my thumb rubbed ponderingly under my chin. "I also heard from former classmates that he's a terrible boss. He has horrible pay, is downright mean to his staff, and skims on benefits. It's even been rumored that he's part of the BDSM community."

"There's nothing wrong that," I stated flatly. There is nothing wrong with being into BDSM, so long as it was preformed between two consenting adults. "Y-your right, of course! I'm just worry about you, Sia. The guy's dangerous." "Ana!" Lucas turned to me worried. "Lucas, it would be foolish of me not to take the offer. Besides, I'll only be living there for two months." "You're going to live with him?!" Jack asked in a terrified tone. "Not "with him"; in the servant's quarters. I'll have my own room with a lock on it." "He'll have the key." "Then I'll keep my phone with 911 on speed-dial at my side. You don't have to worry so much; I doubt Mr. Grey and I will ever even see each other. I'll go to the university and come visit home as much as possible. It will be fine, and if anything happens, I know Lucas and Kate are there for me."

Seemingly unconvinced, Jack and Lucas just turned to one another. Lucas was pretty concerned by now. "Don't worry, you guys. I'm an adult and since I know that Mr. Grey is familiar with ahem, ladies, I'll be extra-careful. I'll move straight back home if anything happens; I'll even keep half my clothes and essentials here just in case. And I'll tell you everything that happens, so don't worry, ok?" "You don't know what kind of man he is, Sia. He viciously protects whatever's his." "He sounds like someone I don't want anywhere near you," Lucas added. "Then you can come get me. Trust me, even if he's a horrible boss, I can handle that. For the sake of my PhD, I can take it."


	12. Before the Ceremony

Ring, ring. _"Hi, honey!"_ "Hi, Daddy!" Oh, thank god. He picked up after so long. _"Listen, I'm sorry I missed your other calls."_ "I know. You texted me that you were abroad." _"I had a bunch of meetings overseas. Anyway, what's up, sugar? Everything going ok with your application?"_ "Yeah! I wanted to talk about that actually. Thank you so much for paying my application fees! You have no idea how much stress that takes off my shoulders."

There was a short lull_. "What are you talking about? I was going to pay them but that was when you apply, and it was going to be a surprise._" "W-wait….. you didn't send money to the university two weeks ago, then?" _"No?"_ "But, no…. if it wasn't you, then….? There must be some mistake…" _"What's going on, Ana? You sound worried."_ "M-my… my application fees; they got paid somehow." _"You didn't pay them?"_ "No, I was going to wait until the fall." He paused again. _"Well maybe it was a mistake by the university…. But universities don't make mistakes like that,"_ my thoughts exactly. "What should I do, Daddy? I've called them and they said that they've been paid in full, but they didn't tell me from who's account." _"Don't worry about right now, sweetheart. We still have all summer to figure it out. Your application fees will get paid one way or another, alright?"_ "Alright; thank you, Daddy," I sighed.

"_Anything else going on with you?"_ "Well, I got a summer job." _"Ana, do you think you should be working right now? You should be focused on your application." _"I know, and I am! It's… well, it doesn't require a lot of work on my part. Speaking of which, I gotta go. Call you tonight?" _"Sure thing, baby girl. I love you."_ "Love you to Daddy. Bye." _"Good bye, honey,"_ click. He didn't pay… My started to lower as my gaze shifted outside the window. Something's wrong… there's something else going on here, but what? What am I missing?

"Good morning, Sia!" Bartholomew greeted me from out front. I smiled, coming over to open the window. "Hi, Bart!" My shout reached the twenty-foot tall man standing in our building's front yard. Bart was our neighbour downstairs. His quirk was body extension; more specifically, he could make himself grow really tall. Naturally he volunteered for community watch. He was about ten years older than me but very, very sweet man. An excellent neighbour to say the least.

"Where are you off to today?" His voice boomed all over the neighbourhood. Admittedly it intimidated me a little when we first met, but I was used to it by now. "The university; they're having their graduation ceremony today." "But you've already graduated." "I have a job there." "Very good! It's such a nice day too. Perfect day for the ceremony." "You are quite right. Would you hand me down?" "Or course," he beamed. I ran to fetch my backpack, make sure the front door was locked, and climbed out of the window. Bart's gigantic hand gently grabbed me and set me across the road. Kate and I were used to this; I knew she'd close the window when she got home. I flashed him a grateful grin. "Thanks, Bart!" "No problem. Have fun at the university," he waved, causing a mini breeze with his hand. I waved back running down the street towards the train station. "See you!"

While on the train, I put in my headphones and watched mindlessly at the passing scenery. Bart, Kate, even Lucas…. I'm moving away from so many great people. I love my apartment buildings, and I love my neighbours. But it'll only be for two months. I can handle that, right? My eyes began to lower in a soft, soulful fashion. Right?

"_Alright, everyone! Get out your secret valentines! It's time to decorate your cards." Our second grade class made these special cards that were supposed to be from a "secret admirer". Mine was pink- of course- cut in the shape of a heart with white lace trim around the boarder. I was pretty proud of it but thought it could use some more glitter. Lucas's card was a blue rectangle with a picture of a soccer player on it; didn't look very much like a valentine's card to me. But Lucas made it and seemed happy with it, so that's all that mattered. He picked up a red-felt pen and blinked to me. _

"_Who are you giving your card to?" "Daddy," I said absent-mindedly. I couldn't think of anyone in the school I'd like to give it to, and I already had valentine cards for my two best friends. Lucas got quiet for a minute, returning his tender gaze back down to his own card. "I want to give mine to Christian…." _

_This made me momentarily stop, slowly peering over at Lucas. The way he spoke just now… His eyes were glued onto his card while he wrote down Christian's name in red ink. My own lip dropped slightly as his curled into the most affectionate, adoring smile. The wheels in my head began to turn when he held it up for me to see; there was a little heart beside Christian's name. "What do you think? Do you think Christian will like it?" Lucas…. I felt my eyes widen. It was impossible for me not to nod my head. "Yes, Lucas. I think Christian will like it." The ecstatic glint in his eyes when I said this… He looked so happy; so very, very happy. I never forgot that look…. It stayed with me, forever. _


	13. Christian?

Mr. Grey didn't try hiding his smile as I kissed his cheeks. This was nothing intimate to me anymore; I'd kissed thousands of cheeks over my lifetime. But it was the closest Mr. Grey and I had ever physically been. His grin wasn't cocky or lustful; more just delighted with the situation. I retracted and, just like every single person I'd used my quirk on, he went to inspect himself in a nearby mirror. We were in a dressing room, so it wasn't hard to find one. His smile widened as he turned to face me. "How do I look?" "Perfect, sir," I answered honestly. There wasn't enough of a difference to be really distinguishable; all rough edges were just smoothed out. And Mr. Grey didn't have a lot of rough edges.

"Thank you, Miss Steele," he came over to grab his coat. I gazed around, considering what to do next. I didn't want to go to the ceremony, but the library and English department were closed. Mr. Grey insisted that his driver take me home, so I was stuck here until he was ready. Boo. His eyes softened onto me. "What are you going to do for the rest of the afternoon?" He asked while putting on his coat on and fixing his tie. "I guess I'll just wander around, maybe find a quiet place to read," I shrugged. After watching me for a moment, he reached into his back pocket to put out his wallet. I observed confused while he pulled out a university card and held it out for me.

"What's this?" I blinked up at him. "It'll give you access to the English department. You can go there." "Uh… t-thank you?" I took it, still perplexed. He's being nice to me again; he doesn't seem to be the horrible boss Jack described him as. Still, it may be too early to tell. That's when a familiar question popped up in my mind. Twirling the key card in my hand, I kept my eyes downwards. "Mr. Grey, can I ask you a question?" "Yes," he said without hesitation. "What's your quirk?" I know I said I wasn't going to ask, but… I don't know; curiosity got the better of me.

Mr. Grey didn't say anything right away, instead electing to look at his reflection in the mirror again. He adjusted his collar and spun once more to see me. "That's none of your business," he stated with more playfulness in his tone than expected. He didn't say it in a domineering, angry way; more of a "I'm not going to tell you" childish style. It was so unanticipated that I wasn't mad or insulted, more so astonished. A slight grin crept across my lips as I realized what was going on. If he wants to play this way, I'll join in. After all, we're two adults here. "Of course you're right, sir. Best to keep our personal information out of it." He grinned, seeing right through me, and turned back to the mirror. I noticed the lines on his face soften in the reflection.

"Thank you again, Miss Steele. I'll have five thousand dollars transferred to your account." "Mr. Grey, that's really too much; I can't accept it." He rapidly spun around to give me one of his classic looks, but I continued; this was important. "You're already paying so much for my PhD. That is more than enough; I don't need any more." "Didn't I say that was up for me to decide?" His tone wasn't as harsh as I thought it would be. "Yes, sir; and I respect that. But I still don't feel right excepting it…. I don't want to feel cheap," my eyes lowered a tad.

Mr. Grey stared my way for a long moment before beginning to walk towards the door. He didn't speak again until his back was turned to me. "You could never be cheap, Miss Steele." "But Mr. Grey, I…." "It doesn't matter what your quirk is- all that matters is who you are on the inside." The world suddenly deafened all around me; the ground felt like it briskly shifted under my feet. My eyes grew so wide, much wider than I thought possible. My hand lifted up to my chest, only to feel my heart beating at such a rapid pace. _I used to hate pink_. "Anyone who really cares about you will see that," he finished. "W-what did you just say?" I blurted out in the absolute upmost shock.

Mr. Grey didn't say anything more. He simply glanced over his shoulder behind to me. "M-Mr. Grey?" I could hear my heart beat in my ears; my fingers were so tingly, I could barely feel them. The room suddenly seemed so much lighter, gentler…. There was this sweet taste in the air and in my mouth. It was like being sucked into the past; to a place far, far away. _Then I looked into her mind one day_… Somewhere I used to live, to love…. I swore tears would have formed in the corner of my eyes if I wasn't so petrified. _And it suddenly became my favorite color_. My lower lip trembled uncontrollably. "Christian?"


	14. The Warmth of Her Hand

This sweet, sweet perfect girl. The one that keeps me attached to my past… I don't have to remember her; I don't…. The image of Ana's young face appeared.

"_Christian? Christian!" I ran over to where he had fallen. I was in grade one at the time; he was in grade two. I didn't see him fall down the staircase; I didn't know if he tripped or was pushed. All I heard was a bang, followed by an agonized groan. I turned the hallway corner to find Christian laying on the floor, his hands all bloody; probably from trying to stop his fall. He was crying- this was the first time I'd seen him cry. _

"_It's ok! I've got you; it'll be ok now!" My feet couldn't have run any faster. I practically threw myself onto my knees, grabbing one of Christian's bleeding hands in mine while wrapping my other arm around his shoulder. "It hurts…. It hurts….." He wept. "Let's go to the nurse." "N-no, it hurts too much to move…." "Then I'll go get her!" I let go of him, ready to make a dash to the nurse's office. But a hand grabbing hold of mine made me stop. I checked back to see Christian staring down, his hand firmly holding onto me. "S-stay… I don't wanna be alone… please stay." "C-Christian…." _

_He didn't have to ask twice. I sat on the floor with him, taking his hand in both of mine this time. "I'll stay with you, Christian. I will stay here with you," my tiny grip tightened. He shut his eyes and pressed his forehead into mine; he'd never done something like that before. Then he sucked in a deep breath. "Your hands are so warm…."_

_Needless to say, it didn't take long for a teacher to find us. Christian got carried to the nurse's office and I got yelled at by Mr. Stern-Face for not going for help sooner. I think he meant to punish me but Christian begged that I come to the nurse's office with him. Mr. Stern-Face reluctantly agreed, probably because he knew what close friends we were, and let me sit on a stool at his bedside. _

_I felt really bad for Christian. The nurse said that his ankle was broken, whatever that meant. She also had to give him a shot, which he didn't like. He cried while she injected it, all the while I held onto his hand. Then she left to deal with another kid and Christian fell to sleep. I didn't want to leave him like this, deciding to stay there until he woke up. He didn't stir until sometime later. My own eyes were closed, and I was slipping in and out of consciousness when Christian woke up. As if forgetting where he was and what happened momentarily, he began to toss and turn. That transformed into writhing in pain when he accidently twisted his leg again. While this seemed to be forever, we had been there for half an hour in reality. The nurse said that they were going to take Christian to the hospital before she left. _

_I frantically looked around for help while Christian continued to toss and cry. He sounded like he was in so much pain…. My chest began to coil; I wanted to do something. I needed to do something. I couldn't bear to see Christian like this; he was my friend. I had to do something… With watery eyes now, I blinked back down to him. No, this can't happen- not to him. I have to do something, anything! _

_Christian immediately stopped, his eyes growing large as I suddenly placed both of my hands onto his head. It was the only thing I could think of, and I wasn't really thinking. It was more acting on impulse, perhaps instinct. But I stood there, gently holding his lovely head in my hands. His short, soft hair spread all throughout my fingers. Christian blinked back to me in utter bewilderment and confusion. I simply smiled the warmest, kindest smile humanly possible down at him. _

"_I'll stay like this until you fall back to sleep," I said in nearly a whisper. "A-Ana!" "It's ok, I'll stay here. I'll pet your head so you can fall asleep." His wide eyes started to lower onto mine. "It's ok, Christian. It's ok…." I kept repeating and stroking his head. He gazed off into the distance for a minute before closing his eyes. His breathing softened and he was quite still now. I don't know how long we stayed like that, but I remember standing there and petting his head, even after Christian fell back asleep and the nurse came. _

But she always pulls me back. She was like a plank I clung to so I wouldn't drown. And the warmth of those hands is something I never had forgotten.


	15. My Christian

"C-Christian?" "Hello, Ana." No….. A single tear fell down my cheek as I was suddenly and unconsciously bombarded with a sea of memories. They flooded in and out of my mind at a rapid pace, not giving me time to properly recollect each one. Christian, Lucas, and me playing ball in the park_._ No, this can't be happening. The three of us eating lunch together in the cafeteria. This can't be real. Christian pushing me on the old wooden swing. I don't believe that after all this time….. all these years….. Me standing at Christian's bedside, holding onto his head while he slept. I don't believe that he's here in front of me now. Lucas staring at Christian from behind with those adoring eyes of his. I thought I'd never see him again. Christian holding onto my hand and brushing some stray hairs off my cheek. I resigned myself to that…. Christian bringing me a rose for Valentine's day. Christian…. The three of us in Halloween costumes. Christian….. Me asleep peacefully on his shoulder, with his head resting against mine. Christian! Young Christian's back turned to me, only for him to slowly spin his head my way. His smile; oh god, his perfect, gorgeous smile. _"Ana."_

I slipped back into reality, almost losing my balance. Christian took a worried step towards me while my feet began to stumble back a little. I was dizzy to say the least; I just saw our entire childhood together in the span of a minute. This was so much to take in. Too much…. My hand grabbed my forehead, allowing me to continue to stare out into oblivion. I couldn't look at him yet; not yet. For the moment I did, I knew I wouldn't be looking at Mr. Grey; I'd see Christian, my Christian…. He was the boy- now man- I mourned and moved on from so long ago. Like seriously, I hadn't thought of him in years! It was too painful…. But he clearly didn't forget me. And I had this sneaking suspicion as to why.

"Ana, are you alright?" No, don't look at him, Sia; you're not ready. "Are you….. really Christian? Like the Christian I went to elementary school with? The one who moved across the country in grade four?" A brief pause. "Yes, Ana. To be honest, I was surprised when you didn't recognize me," I detected the pain in his tone; I bet he was hoping I'd remember. And I didn't; my eyes winced shut. I didn't….. I never allowed myself to imagine what Christian would look like grown up. That way I wouldn't look for him, even unconsciously. "I didn't…. I didn't think I'd ever see you again," I blithered, not sure what else to say. I couldn't even look at him, let alone speak.

I didn't see this, but I could sense Christian take another attentive step towards me. No….. no, get any closer to me. I'm afraid of what I'll do…. I don't want to hug you; I don't want to lose control of myself and embrace you. For once I wrap my arms around you, I'm afraid I'll never be able to let you go…. again.

"H-how did you find me?" "It wasn't that difficult once I started looking at university graduate records. The fact that you have no social media presence made it harder." He…. he actually tried to find me, then? Like put effort into it? My eyes hesitantly opened, and I found myself staring at the tiles on the floor. "Y-you're here…. after all this time…." "Twenty years," he added. That's right, it has been twenty years. Twenty years since….

"Ana, look at me." With a hint of reluctance, my head lifted up. I saw Christian watching me intently….. intently and tenderly. That flawless smile returned to his lips and he looked like an Adonis. But it was him who spoke next. His eyes softened onto mine as his lips parted a sliver. "After all this time….. you're still perfect." He didn't say this like a compliment or anything to me. Instead it was more to himself, like he was making an observation. My back straightened up and I finally wiped the remaining tears from the corner of my eyes.

"W-why didn't you tell me?" His picture-perfect grin began to face slightly. "Why would I have told you when you didn't even recognize me? I told you before, Ana; I'm going through heartbreak like that again." This…. rubbed me the wrong way for some reason. I remember him telling me that in the teahouse, but I didn't know he was talking about us. He says it like I'm the one who did something wrong when we were little.

"So you planned to keep me close by hiring me as your live-in staff, is that it?" Ok, I know he didn't like the way I said that. He stance straightened up and he was definitely not smiling anymore. "What else was I supposed to do? You were the one who said you never wanted to see me again. If being your employer is what it took to keep you nearby, I'm fine with that. Just so long as you're close….." My eyes widened in shock and- I won't lie- delight. He spoke with such sincerity…. He was being honest and open with me right now; makes a change. But that means that he really did intend to keep me close, if not as a girlfriend or wife, as his employee…. Huh. Ok, it sounds less romantic now.

I blinked at him a couple of times. Even though I knew this was the same Christian from my childhood, I still couldn't quite see it. Maybe there was still that mental block….. I don't know why but I thought of Franklin in that moment. Meanwhile, while I was being quiet for a minute, Christian took the opportunity to regain his smile. He put his hands into his pockets and relaxed his position a little. "Do you remember that day we went to the cherry blossom orchard?" "And you memorized that quote from Tolstoy just so you could recite it to me?" Yes, I remembered that… Christian chuckled to himself, taking another step closer. "He stepped down, trying not to look long at her, as if she were the sun, yet he saw her, like the sun, even without looking." "Y-you remembered the whole quote?" I gazed at him surprised. His eyes simply, effortlessly fixed onto my eyes. "It was something I wanted to remember."


	16. Bad Timing

_Christian took my hand and I thought I was going to die._

We stared at each other for I don't know how long; it was likely a minute or so, but it felt much, much longer. "Ana…." My heart skipped a beat at the sound of my name; the name he used to call me as children…. "You know, don't you? Why I did all this; why I found and hired you." "I think I do…." I didn't think; I already knew. But I wasn't willing accept that, not like this. I still had other loyalties….

"You know, Ana; I know you do. And I also know that a part of you feels the same." "I…." How could I deny that…? When it's obviously true. For god's sake, I couldn't even look at him without losing control of my mind. "You remember that last year we were together. I know you started to feel something for me… I saw the way you looked at me." "Huh?" My gaze slowly started to grow. But I was careful to only look when he didn't see me! My hand lifted up to my chest and my lips parted silently. "Ana, you can't deny there was something there. I know you; it took a long time, but…." His eyes lowered slightly. Christian, wait…. I didn't like where this was going. I had my loyalty elsewhere, and I didn't like the way he was making it sound like I was the one in the wrong. Because I know full-well that I did the right thing; I don't even have to think about it. "And yet you still ignore that part of you? Why? You're still….. What about your feelings?"

W-what about….? My eyes shot very wide as my stance stiffened. No- just no. Just as I thought; he was wrong back then and he's wrong now. I am loyal if nothing else. "What about my….? What about Lucas?!" I fired back in a loud, angered tone. Christian's face became a startled, shocked contortion, but I didn't care. I merely continued yelling. "He loved you so much! It was your hand he wanted to hold, Christian! You knew that!"

Christian froze, looking completely blindsided. His mouth immediately opened but no reply came out. That's because he knew I was right. I was absolutely right, and we all knew it. Neither of us said anything right away, allowing a pregnant pause to slip in. His lower lip quivered before he finally found the breath to speak. "Y-you're right, I did know….. But I never meant to hurt him; I'd never do that. I loved Lucas too, Ana. But it was different; he was like my brother. I couldn't…." He paused for a second, his eyes rolling off into the distance. "I couldn't love him the way he wanted or needed. I had to turn him down."

"I understand that, Christian; that wasn't the problem. What was the issue is you confessing to me three days after Lucas confessed to you! Do you know how much that hurt him?" I got angrier by the second. There are two people in my life you don't mess with: Daddy and Lucas. Lucas was the closest thing to a brother I'd ever have; he was perfect in my eyes. I simply adored every inch of him. It's no wonder that my loyalty is by default to Lucas. I would never do anything that would hurt him- ever.

"Ana, be realistic. I was moving that week and wanted to tell you before I left. It was… just ill-timing. I didn't think Lucas would so close to my moving date… But can you blame me? I've loved you since grade one." "Lucas loved you since kindergarten," I countered, folding my arms. "Ana, please… I know Lucas was upset, but….." "No! No "buts". Lucas had every right to be upset, just like you were when I rejected you. You don't love someone for that long and expect them to get over it like that. I….." My gaze lowered a tad. Ok, honesty time. "I admit, I did… like you, Christian; I did start to love you in grade three. But I knew nothing could ever happen. Lucas loved you first, I saw it; I was there from the start. Lucas is my best friend…." "He was mine too…." Christian surprised me with his sad, almost reminiscence tone. It was so startling that if I didn't know any better, I'd say that maybe he missed Lucas….. maybe.


	17. Kate's Wisdom

"You quit?!" I was sitting at the kitchen table with Kate. While my eyes were locked onto my tea, she gawked at me with mere incredulousness. "Why would you quit? You're the one who was so adamant about getting your PhD funded." "I know, but it's just… weird now. I can't work for him; he's my childhood friend. Plus… I think it's kind of obvious that he still has feelings for me. It wouldn't be ethical for him to employ me." "He'd be a good boss to you at least," she shrugged. "It would like you working for Charlie Minkus, and he still has a thing for you." Kate considered this to herself, nibbling on her bottom lip before nodding in understanding. "Ok, yeah; I get it."

My gaze lowered in a sad fashion. "I can't believe I didn't see it earlier…. Hell, I don't see it now!" "Yeah, how's that possible? How do you not recognize your childhood best friend?" "I… I don't know. I don't know what's wrong with me…." My hand rested on the side of my head. "I do. You go twenty years without a word from this guy, only to learn that he's stupid rich, super successful, and still likes you." I don't think "like" describes his feelings quite correctly….. My head slowly nodded; she did have a point, however. "No wonder you feel all messed up. That's a really big shock you just had. An adopted poor boy turned billionaire CEO? Who saw that coming?" Certainly not me, I frowned. "And he still likes you, you said?" I felt Kate's curious eyes suddenly on me.

I sighed deeply, painfully. "I don't why…. Why didn't he just move on like us? Why did he have to go through all the effort to find me? Why…..?" My long yard stare descended. "Sia, this is good news! One of the richest men in the country has his eye on you. Do you know how many girls would kill to be in your position? Who cares if you don't work for him; date him instead!" "I can't do that," I heard myself say before my brain kicked in; my mouth was on autopilot. Kate's jaw dropped but I kept on going. "I don't care about the money; I'll survive without his funding. I was going to anyway before…. but….. it's a difficult situation. I feel torn…." My head rested onto my hand, covering my eyes. This was a nightmare; an utter nightmare from which I can't awake. Once more I drew in a long, sullen breath. "How am I going to tell Lucas?"

"Lucas? Is this why you're feeling torn?" Kate sounded surprised, for some reason. I nodded- sluggishly and in dread. "Well, why don't you just tell him that it's the same Christian?" "I can't! He just broke up with his long-term boyfriend; this is a very hard time for him. I need…. I need to be sensitive and here for him." "But you are here; you've haven't gone anywhere. And what about you? Isn't this a hard time for you too? Do you want to see Christian again? Have him back in your life?" "I….. I can't…. I can't think that way. It was easier to forget him… than continue loving him," my eyes lowered. "Sia…." "No, I can't; he's off-limits to me. I can't do that to Lucas."

"Do you hear yourself, Sia?" This made me blink to Kate shocked. The expression on her face was so firm and sincere. "You're doing mental gymnastics with yourself. You're trying so hard to figure out what's moral, but you stifle your own feelings in the process. Heh, you're an academic; overthinking and overanalyzing is what you do," she chuckled lightly, giving her head a small, hopeless shake. "K-Kate!" "You're not perfect, Sia. Your heart's in the right place, but maybe your love is blinding you to your flawed logic. You say you don't want to hurt or betray Lucas, but has he ever indicated that would the case?" My mouth shot open, but no words followed. Holy….. holy crap.

My dumbstruck reaction only made Kate smile. "You're making assumptions. You don't know Lucas would think." "He loved Christian. Christian was his first love….." I countered meekly, already seeing the major flaw with my rebuttal. "Yeah, when you were in elementary school. You're not eight years old anymore, Sia. You're all adults and what's more, you love each other. I've never seen a stronger friendship than yours and Lucas's. Don't you think he wants what's best for you? Don't you think he loves you as much as you love him?" "I…. I…." "If you have feelings for Christian, I doubt Lucas would ever want to stand in your way. And especially without him even knowing he was." "Kate, when did you….?" "You're not the only one who went to masters, girl," she flashed me a clever smirk.

"You're right, Kate. I never did ask him; I just assumed it would hurt him, since it did twenty years ago…" "Talk to him, Sia." "I… I will, but…. it's just bad timing. He and David…." I couldn't continue. She sucked in a deep breath. "What about you, in the meantime? Why are you always the one who has to decide and neglect your own feelings? It's always about Lucas. What about you?" "Me?" She looked me straight in the eye. "How do you feel about Christian Grey, Anastasia Steele? What does your heart say?" My eyes grew for a second, letting a pause slip in. "I… I can't even think about that….. not until I've talked to Lucas." "What if Lucas was never in the picture?" "Oh, please. Then I would have married Christian by now."

This made me automatically freeze, coming to the horrific realization that my mouth was on autopilot again. My mind immediately started to backpedal. "I-I didn't mean that! It just sort of slipped out…." Kate stared at me for a long time, her gaze absorbent like a sponge. I could tell she was reading my face, my body language like a book. Eventually her smile returned as her lovely hand reached to rest overtop of mine. "You are a good person, Sia. I can see why Christian fell so in love with you. And I hope Lucas knows how lucky he is to have a best friend like you," I felt like I was on the verge of tears as she gently brushed some hair off my forehead. "Kate….."

"Talk to Lucas; you're going to have to tell him sooner or later. Who knows? He might be really surprised and happy for you." Oh, he'll be surprised alright. "Meanwhile, I know just the thing to cheer you up!" "Museum?" "Museum."


	18. At the Museum

Kate and I stood in front of the aquatic birds' exhibit. Our national museum had a glorious, extensive wildlife panorama. That was my favorite- that and the history section. Kate liked the science and technology galleries. Guess tastes can't determine friendships, but we both loved the museum and were frequent visitors.

We went from exhibit to exhibit, inspecting them introspectively. Course we've seen them lots of times, but they never got boring. Plus the museum always had interesting exhibitions on. This month's display was uh…. well I'll just let him explain. "Welcome patrons of unnatural history to Willy Chuck's Weird Wilderness Museum," this hairy man- I think he was a man- enthusiastically greeted us. Kate and I just looked at each other. Just from first glance, I could tell he was um, eccentric. He wore a big, burly mustache, hiking boots, and a weird outdoorize hat with flaps on the side. Uh… well I had to admit, this was entertaining me, if not making me feel better. "Boy, they'll let anyone host exhibitions here," Kate whispered to me and I giggled.

"You girls with the high school group?" "Uh, actually we're postgrads, sir," Kate rolled her eyes; I had to hide a smile with my hand. "Postgrads, ay? Wonderful! Good to see girls with healthy appetites for education." Oh man, this guy; he was something else entirely, and I enjoyed it thoroughly. Kate, on the other hand….. "We're just looking." "Well, you ask old Willy if you have any question!" His fist punched through the air across his front. "Ugh," Kate muttered under her breath unamused. "We will. Thank you, sir," I gave him a friendly nod as we headed into the gallery. "Bet his quirk is that he can talk to the taxidermy animals," she said, causing me to laugh again.

The exhibition was…. interesting, to say the least. Lots of weird-looking animals; some kept in jars, others out on display. I remember seeing what appeared to be a demonic pig preserved in this big glass jar. Its eyes were red, and it had fang-like teeth; creepy to say the least. "Mmmmm, I see you're admiring old Swino," guess who made me jump by his sudden appearance. Swino? The pig's name was Swino? Willy brushed his thumb under his chin and nodded thoughtfully to himself while staring at… Swino. I'll be honest; I'll never get over that name… or Willy, for that matter. He was so concentrated on his gallery. "Erm, yes? It's a… creepy pig." "You got that right! Came from a farm in Kanzas. It's owner- Mrs. Bardershmit- called me to take it off her property. Said it was cursed; possessed by a demon." "That's…. an interesting story," I inwardly cringed. "Oh, it's no story! That pig was evil! I should know- I can sniff out weird and wacky animals; that's my quirk." You don't say.

"Come! If you think that's nifty, you'll love the Herald, the haunted alligator!" Willy encouraged me. "O-Oh! Actually, I think that lady over there has a question," I pointed at any random person; just to get him away. He turned and much to my relief, lit up like a light. "Oh, you're right! Just wait, ma'am! I'll tell you all about the hyena who died laughing!" I had to hide another grin as he took off running towards the poor unsuspecting woman. Ok, now I can enjoy the museum in peace- hopefully.

I wandered around for a couple of minutes, scanning over each of the artifacts. Some were cuter than others; some were downright freaky, and I don't mean just Swino. I did pause at two chameleons with their tongues tangled together; the sign said that they died in a state of passion. Passion indeed. Still, my eyes lowered tenderly… _"Hey, look at this, Ana! I found a lizard!" "Oh, let me see, Lucas!"_ Funny, those random memories still kept popping up occasionally. Good memories… Things I didn't think about much before but didn't want to forget. They were precious to me…. they were incredibly precious.

"Hey, where'd you go? Oh, there you are!" Ugh, my eyes gave a dramatic roll. Too bad those precious moments were fleeting. "Hey, miss! Come and get a gander at this! Come on, folks! Gather round!" "Jesus, you think he'd forget that we're in a museum," Kate groaned, coming up beside me. "Did you see Swino, the demon pig?" I asked her. "Yes! To be fair, it is a scary pig." "It is terrifying." "You two! Come over here!" Willy waved at us excitedly. At least he was really into his work; I'll give him that.

"Great. What monstrosity does he want to show us now? A two-headed mongoose?" "Or maybe a rarely active sloth," I chuckled. Unfortunately for me, it turned out to be much, much worse. "Behold! The world's fattest rat!" He announced with pride. My feet immediately froze mid-step. Rat? Did he just say "rat"? "Sia?" Kate also paused to glance back at me. "There's a rat? Like a real rat?" "Well, it's stuffed now." Oh….. oh no. Nope! No, no, no, no! That is not happening; I can't even look. This is not good. As if my brain was instantly trying to mentally escape the situation, I found myself being drawn back in time- far, far away. Once more, it was involuntary and spontaneous, but it was there… He was still there, deep inside my whole body.

"_I don't want to go in there!" I stood crying in the exhibit's entryway. The second and third-graders were on a field trip to a medieval-style castle. The museum was set up in such a way that you went a straight line; reaching and going through the dungeon and cellar eventually- cause those are terrific places to bring young, fragile kids. Christian stayed at my side worriedly while our teacher, Mr. Grinds, tried to coax me inside the dungeon portion. Things were already bad by the time Mr. Stern-Face stomped on over. _

"_What is going on here, Grinds?" He addressed our poor frantic teacher first. "It's Anastasia. She refuses to go through the dungeon." "What is the issue here, Miss Steele?" Mr. Stern-Face then turned to me. "H-he said there are rats inside," I whimpered, pointing at Mr. Grinds. "Uh, stuffed rats, to be precise. I told her there would be some on the floor, to make it historically accurate." Oh, this did not impress Mr. Stern-Face. He planted his hands on his hips firmly and frowned down at me. _

"_Miss Steele, rats are a part of life. They existed then, and they exist now. You'll just have to straighten up and go through the exhibit." I began crying again, terrified at the prospect of seeing little black stuffed rats on the ground. Christian looked at me, then up at our vice principle. "But, sir, she's really scared. Does Ana have to go through?" "I just said she did, Christian. Besides! Stuffed rats never hurt anyone. The sooner she gets over this irrational fear, the better." "I don't wanna go! Please don't make me!" I begged, wincing my tiny eyes shut. "Now, Miss Steele!" His huge, strong finger pointed into the darkness. _

_This only made me cry harder. "Don't yell at her!" Christian pleaded, getting himself securely in between us. "Uh, I can go ask security if there's another way around…" Mr. Stern-Face cut Mr. Grinds off by holding up his hand. He glared down at us with the firmest of expressions. I don't think "unimpressed" was enough to accurately described him then. "Miss Steele- you are young lady and much too old to be afraid of something like rats. If you don't take control of this fear now, it will follow you the rest of your life. Do you understand?" "No?" I murmured confused. Mr. Stern-Face groaned and glared off to the side wall. "Alright, I've had enough of this nonsense. I'm going to check on the other group. I want you through that exhibit by the time I return," he ordered before marching off. _

_I just kept weeping, not at all mentally prepared to endure the horrific stuffed rats waiting inside for me. I don't know where this phobia of rats came from, but I've always had it- and no, it never went away. Christian meanwhile was trying to think of what to do next. He knew we'd only get yelled at if we stayed here like this, but he didn't feel right forcing me through either I think. He pondered for a moment before getting an idea. While I was holding my teary eyes with my hands, I suddenly flinched as he reached over to take one. I blinked to him in surprise and he flashed me one of his brilliant, reassuring smiles. _

"_Hold on tight to my hand, Ana, and close your eyes." "C-Christian….?" My bottom lip was still quivering. His hand gave mine a warm squeeze. "Trust me, I'll lead you through. I won't let you see any rats. Don't worry, Ana. Just don't let go of my hand." His hand….. I considered his proposition for a moment and finally nodded; we pretended not to notice Mr. Grind's big sigh of relief. Christian led me to the entrance of the dungeon. I peered inside, making sure to keep my eyes off the floor; there were lots of rusty old chains hanging on the walls high above us. Then I took a deep breath in. The last thing I saw was Christian's tender smile. "Now close your eyes," he instructed me. I did so and let him guide me inside via my hand. _

_What was in reality a short walk felt like an eternity. Originally, I was still a little scared but enjoying the sensation of Christian's hand protectively holding onto mine. All that warmth and joy evaporated however at the automated sounds of tiny squeaks and pattering of tiny feet. I guess they added the noises to make it more authentic. This scared me beyond belief and I immediately cried out, coming to a complete petrified halt. "Ana!" I heard Christian's voice echo throughout the room, though I still didn't open my eyes. "Ana! Ana, it's ok! There're no real rats! It's ok!" He tried desperately to calm me- in vain of course. I started crying again and pulled my arms in close to me; I was crying so hard that I couldn't even speak. _

_I do remember my mouth stop shaking when I unexpectedly and quite suddenly felt two arms wrap around me. Christian stood beside me, holding me in both his arms. My eyes didn't open but I could feel his kind gaze upon me. "It's alright, Ana; I've got you. I'm here… I'm here," he repeated. Christian… My body began to cease trembling in his warm, warm grip. But my feet didn't move as he tried to take a step forward. He paused for a second and then pressed me nearer to him. "Don't worry, Ana; I won't let you go. I'll hold onto you, til we're out….. _

til I hear you sigh in relief, here in my arms."


	19. Full of Color

I saw her when she first entered my office and I swore my entire world grew deafless. Here she was- the embodiment of perfection, the most beautiful creature on this earth- standing so near me after twenty years. Twenty long, grey years…. And yet, with a single glance of her color-filled eyes, my reality suddenly lit up like a rainbow. There's no logical reason why she was the only one, why no one ever made me feel that way before or again…. But I could care less about that; screw logic and rationality. I was born grey and she is polychromatic, a rainbow.

She radiates color.

"Seriously? Who names a pig "Swino"?" Kate and I laughed all the way home. "Apparently Willy." "That man was like a freakshow all on his own; the taxidermy animals were extra." "Haha well, he certain entertained me, in a cringy way," I chuckled. "I mean his underwear was showing, for god's sake!" Kate's arms tossed up into the air. "Really?! I didn't see that," thank god. "Yeah, in the back! And they were pink of all colors." "Pink?" _"Pink, like cherry blossoms. Your color is pink."_

My eyes narrowed puzzled while Kate blinked over at me. "Uh, Sia? You ok?" "Huh?" "You just got quiet there for a second," she said, surprising me. I did? I don't remember… "Uh, sorry. I was just thinking about something. The word "pink" sounded weird to me just now." "Having a Proustian moment?" She grinned, giving me a light, playful nudge. "I… I guess so," my own stare lowered in a thoughtful manner. Pink… why does that color ring a bell in my mind?

"Good evening, ladies!" We both flinched at the booming of Bart's voice. "Oh, hi Bart!" Kate and I called up with a friendly smile. "How was the graduation ceremony, Sia?" "Erm, it was… alright," I didn't feel like explaining myself by telling the truth, and I technically did do my job. "Very fine! And you, Kate? Did you have a good day?" "I did, thank you!" "Excellent!" "Did you have a good day, Bart?" I hollered. "Oh, yes. It was very quiet in the neighbourhood today. Makes it easy for neighbour watch." "Thanks for doing that again. We appreciate it." "Not at all! Anything to keep lovely neighbours like you safe and sound," and we grinned. Ah, Bart; such a kind, good soul.

"Do you need a lift up?" "Did you lock the window?" I asked Kate; she shook her head. "Yes, please! But we need to open the window; it's not locked!" We then called up. Bart nodded and picked Kate up in one hand. He lifted her to the window so she could open it from the outside. She climbed in and he reached down for me. "Thank you, Bart." "No problem, Sia. So what's on tap for you ladies tonight?" "Cartoons and ice cream- lots of ice cream," I replied. He laughed. "Sounds like the perfect girls' night. You two have a good time, alright?" "Ok, thanks again, Bart," I waved before shutting the window. A sigh unconsciously fell from my lips as I grasped the wood of the frame in my hand. Well…. one good thing to come from this revelation is that I don't have to move. I wasn't really keen on leaving here anyway. Now I get to stay….. I get to stay here with Bart, Lucas, Kate….. But…. "Hey, Sia?! Cookie dough ice cream or phish?" My eyes softened as I stared down at my hand clutched the wood. No, I love it here, but it would be perfect with all of us- and I do mean all.

Bart was right, it was the ultimate girls' night. We did facemasks, ate a whole tub of ice cream each, and watched old Scooby Doo reruns; I wasn't in the mood for rom-coms or tragedies at the moment. Sitting there on the couch in our pajamas, we laughed and ate nonstop. I had just started my second tub of ice cream when a sudden knock on the door made us both scream a little. We were so enraptured in our own little world that a little knock brought us back kicking and screaming immediately. We looked at each other before I got up to nervously tiptoe to the front door.

"Who do you think it is?" I whispered back to her. "I don't know. Is Bart still on patrol?" "He must be, or else how did whoever this is get into our building?" "Maybe it's a neighbour?" "Hmmmmmm," I checked out of the peephole. On the other side of the door was a man I didn't know; he was in a uniform, though I don't know for what. "Who is it, Sia?" "It's a man; looks like a maintenance worker." "Do you think he works for the owners? Should we answer it?" Another knock, firmer this time, made us jump again. I looked at Kate and, seeing as we were both in our pajamas, she came over to stand beside me- for moral and physical support. I took in a deep breath and unlocked the door.

Imagine both of our utter shock to open it, only to find a delivery man with a very large bouquet in his arms. I must have missed that through the peephole! "Uh, Miss Anastasia Steele?" He motioned to Kate. "I'm Anastasia," I politely corrected. My eyes grew huge when he suddenly put the flowers right into my arms without warning. "Uh….?" I couldn't really think of what to say. What do you say to a flower delivery man? Kate fortunately knew the answer to my query. "Wow! So big! Who's it from?" She asked him. "Don't know, I just deliver the flowers. By the way, nice jammies, girls," he chuckled to himself before spinning around to leave. Kate frowned, pushing me inside and slamming the door shut. "Some delivery man you are! Talk about rude!"

Then, like she just remembered I was inexplicitly handed a gigantic armful of flowers, Kate rushed over to me all excited. I set the bouquet down on the table and opening the white paper flap. My gaze grew ginormous. Roses….. two dozen red roses. I audibly gasped, right along with Kate- she was just as stunned as me. "S-Sia! They're…. They're…." "They're beautiful," I spoke softly, truly. "They're so many of them! And so pretty! Oh god, they smell good. Who are they from?" "I… I don't know yet…." Though I think I did. Still I want confirmation. I untied the paper around them, showing off the striking full bouquet; it was something to behold and for flower-lovers like me, it was akin to a work of art. Roses in particular were my favorite, red roses…..

We both shuffled through the wrapping, trying to find a card or something. Kate found it first, pulling out a little white rectangle card with pretty pink edges. She handed it to me, expecting me to read it out loud I'm sure. I read the card aloud, practically clinging it with my fingers. "He stepped down, trying not to look long at her, as if she were the sun. Yet he saw her like the sun, even without looking." By the time I finished reading, my hand began to lower the card as I stared off into nowhere. But I wasn't looking at nothing, for my eyes were already full.

"That's all it says?" Kate asked, snatching the card from me; not in a rude way, more so confused. She checked it front to back, finding nothing but the quote written by hand. "Hey, this quote is from Anna Karenina, isn't it? That book you really love." "Yes… yes, it is," my voice was low and soft. Kate blinked over to me; her eyes much wider than mine now. "Sia, does this mean anything to you? Can you tell who sent this?" I considered for a moment, still staring off with my full gaze. "I do… it was…. Christian Grey." "Christian Grey?! The guy who you just quit from? Your old childhood friend? That Christian?" Another brief pause. "Yes…. that Christian."

"Wow! I mean, I know he's loaded, but this is super sweet! But… it doesn't matter what I think. What do you think, Sia?" Kate quickly added, as if she forgot herself for a minute. I peered back at her silently, then went over to the bouquet. Without words, without effort, I picked up one of the roses and brought it to my nose. My eyes shut as I took in its scent; a scent I knew so well- my favorite, in fact- and yet never ceased to take my breath away. The rose lowered so I could press it carefully against my chest, mindful not to harm any of the petals. Kate didn't say anything, just watched me with this astonished stare. My eyes gently shut again. He still saw me…. He saw me, like the sun…. the light which brought color into his life.


	20. Inside the Recesses of His Mind Part 1

It started with a rose bush…

Eleven Years Ago-

I forgot her, or at least I thought I did; it was easier to forget than to keep loving in the most hopeful, most hopeless way. So I simply let her slip out of my consciousness; I ignored her constant presence in my mind. I couldn't think of her, reminisce… for even the mere thought of her name… I had to cut myself off if I was to move on. And slowly- slowly- she began to fade away, until there was nothing left. I no longer thought about her; for a time, I believed I truly forgot about her. But that was not true; it could never be.

I never forgot.

_I woke up to the incessant beeping of my alarm clock. My eyes fluttered open so to stare up at my white ceiling. With minimal effort, I reached over to shut off my alarm. Seven-fifty; time to get ready for school. Before that, I sat up in my bed and rested my hand over my face. I can't remember it, but I think I had a weird dream just now. Right before I woke up…. There was a field, I think; a light grassy meadow. And in the meadow, there was someone. I was there and much younger, but I wasn't alone. There was someone else, laying on the grass…. Someone. _

"_Christian! Hey Christian; come on, man! We're gonna be late!" My adoptive brother, Elliot hollered up the staircase. He, my adoptive sister Mia, and I all went to the same fancy private high school. Groggily, I got dressed in my school uniform, brushed my teeth, and did all that; unconsciously letting the dream slip from my mind. It was just a dream, after all. _

_Mia drove us to school; she did every day. While she and Elliot headed inside, I trailed along behind. I wasn't really interested in academics, at least at this point of life. I had top marks, both in my family and school; reading the teachers' minds made it easy to succeed. You'd think they'd have something in place to deal with telepathic students like me, but no; go figure. I was in no hurry to get to class. I was a model student in the academic department, but not in the discipline one. I got into the odd fight and was always tardy; I practically lived in detention last year. This year was a bit better, probably considering that it was my last. _

"_Christian!" I stopped and glanced to see Jessie run over to me. She was waving and wore a pleasant enough expression. "Good morning, Christian." "Morning," I said politely; I didn't like being rude to girls. She smiled warmly at me. This girl- man, did she like me. But then, lots of girls did at school and elsewhere. This mind-reading quirk would be really useful, if I had any desire to date any of them. I read her mind to find her feeling shy, embarrassed, excited, etc. Apparently, her friends caught her staring at me in class yesterday, which was mortifying to her. Poor thing. She actually thought right now that if she had a tail, it would be wagging so much because she's so happy I smiled at her. My eyes simply lowered, and I didn't say anything. _

_Like a bunch of other girls, Jessie liked me from the moment she saw me. It didn't matter that I never expressed an interest in anyone. Mia called me a heartless jerk who doesn't take a girl's affection seriously. She said I must be grey inside or something…. I guess if I had a color, it would be grey. My lips parted slightly. Color… _

_Eventually Jessie and I became casual friends, if you could call it that. This enraged all the other girls at school, not that I cared. Still, I always made sure to be polite to everyone. I didn't say anything when Jessie took extra long deciding what she'd like to eat or buy, just so we could spend a little more time together. I didn't say anything when she borrowed her brother's Vespa just so she could ride with me and my motorcycle; yes, I did have a motorcycle back in my youth. I tried to be a decent human being, when I wasn't fighting that is. Don't ask me why; I'm the one apparently with the grey heart, after all. I didn't think things would change though. I was not expecting…. It happened one day when Jessie asked if she could ride home with me. _

_We were riding along the road beside the beach. It wasn't the fastest way home, but it was the most scenic. And I liked watching the ocean; the water was always the most perfect shade of blue. I wasn't looking at it now per se, instead trying to keep my attention on the road. Then, just then, like a flash of lightening it struck- it struck immediately, and fundamentally changed me. In the furthest corner of my right, I saw something flicker. One a moment- for a single solitary moment- I saw someone on the beach. Her back was turned to me… My heart suddenly froze as I fell my hands start to uncontrollably tremble._ No…. No, I never forgot; how could I? _Long brown hair waving in the warm, spring breeze._ Whether I'm aware of it or not, I'm always searching. _Soft, pale skin._ I've always been searching. _The gentlest, kindest smile across her red rose lips._ Searching for traces of you; fragments. _And pink; so much pink._ And the realization that I'll never stop searching- until you're here….. Until I hear you sigh, safe here in my arms.

"_Christian! Christian, look out!" Jessie screamed at the top of her lungs. It all happened in the span of five seconds, but from the moment I saw that flicker, I felt entirely numb. I lost immediate control of my bike and sure enough, I crashed down into the pavement. My bike turned itself to the side before I fell, so I avoided flying off. I don't remember feeling any pain right away… I laid there on the ground with my eyes shut, seeing nothing but pink. Within moments, Jessie leapt off her bike and raced down to my side. "Christian! Are you alright?!" _

"_Ugh," I groaned, reopening my eyes. "W-what happened?" A sputter erupted from my lips. "You fell! You lost control of your bike." "Fell…?" It didn't register instantly, but then I sat up much too quickly. My eyes winced shut at the sudden pain and slight nausea rising within me. "Christian! Are you hurt!? Where does it hurt?" "A girl…" "Huh?" "T-there was… someone on the beach….." I muttered, trying to control the pre-vomit spit forming in my mouth. Jessie looked to the beach and I read in her mind; she thought I was hallucinating. "There's no one there, Christian," she said nervously. She thought I might have hit my head. "No, there was…." I checked to see that she was right; the sand was barren. No trace of anyone, not even footprints. "There was… someone." Someone….. _

"_Come on, Christian. We'd better get you to the hospital," she gently tugged on my arm, instantly letting go and regretting her decision. She thought that I might have broken a bone in my leg and couldn't walk. "C-can you walk?" See? I tried to stand and did so- wobblily. In the end we thought it best to call my parents and have them drive me to the hospital. All the while, Jessie stayed by my side and told me that everything would be alright. "It'll be alright, Christian. It'll be ok," she repeated over and over. "Yes," my eyes lowered tiredly. I know it will…. And I couldn't explain why but the sudden sensation of two very warm hands on my head appeared. There was no one actually touching me, but for a second, I could feel them tenderly patting my head. _


	21. Love

I ate my cereal loaded with marshmallows at the kitchen table. Not needing to eat today, I kissed Kate's cheeks and she went to open the window while I had breakfast. Bart waved at us looking inside. "Good morning, ladies!" That booming voice of his, I shook my head taking another bite of cereal. "Morning, Bart! Have a nice patrol!" Kate called back. "I will! You have a nice day too!" Then he made a "swoosh" with his head turning downwards. "Why hello Lucas!"

My spoon dropped onto the counter. Kate had just enough time to turn around to see me quickly grab the vase of roses. "Uh, Sia? What are you…..?" "Quick! I gotta hide these!" "Why?" "I don't want Lucas to see them." "Oh… why not?" She wasn't going to let this drop, was she? "I just…! If he sees them, he'll ask who they're from, and I can't lie to Lucas. It's just easier to hide them." "I thought you were going to tell him; and sooner rather than later." "I will! Just not right now!" I flinched at the knocking at the front door. That transformed to the sound of the lock being turned. Damn! I forgot he had a key! "Go greet him!" I told Kate before rushing the vase into my room. I shut my door and ran back to sit down in the kitchen by the time Lucas entered.

"Hi, Ana," he said with a warm, sad smile on his lips. "H-hi, Lucas," I tried- painfully- to sound as natural as possible. He looked at me for a second before coming over to me. "Still choked up about the funding, huh? It's ok; I understand," my eyes shut as he put his hand on my head, bringing his in to give me a kiss on the forehead. Then he took the seat next to me, brushing a few stray hairs off my cheek with his thumb. "Oh, Ana; I'm so sorry. I know how much you wanted your PhD funded." "I-it's ok… It just…. wasn't meant to be, I guess," my eyes scrolled downwards. Lucas didn't take his gaze off me. "You never did say why you quit…." I could practically hear the cogs in his head turning. "Wait, he didn't…..?!" "No, Chr-….. er, Mr. Grey didn't do anything. I just… decided that I wasn't ready to move away yet," it was a half-truth; I was never keen on moving. I peered over to see Lucas take my hand in his, protectively wrapping his fingers around it.

"Well, good! I'm so glad you're not working for that monster. If I had my way, he'd never see you again, much less hire you." Oh, his wording…. And truthfully, a part of me was terrified that he might be right. I might never see….. "Ana?" Lucas's concerned tone brought my attention rushing back to him. "Huh? Sorry," my eyes lowered a tad. He sighed softly, tightening his grip on my hand. "I know this is hard for you, and I'm so sorry you had to go through this. If there was anything I could do….?" Anything you could do…. I slowly moved my long-eyed stare up to his face. He looked so concerned for me…. so worried…. Lucas, my lips parted a little. I so absorbed in his presence that I failed to notice Kate slip out to give us some privacy.

"Lucas?" "Yes?" This beloved man perked up. This man…. this man who always held my hand; the man who took my hand on the first day of school and never, ever let go….. He always held onto me so protectively. Always… "Lucas, you know… that I love you, right?" "Huh?" I think this dumbfounded him more than anything. His back stiffened up, but he didn't let go of my hand. Of course, he didn't.

"W-wha-… what kind of stupid question is that? Of course I know you love me. Why would you even ask me?" I took a long, deep breath in. "And you know…. that I would never do anything to hurt you?" His eyes widened in confusion and slight alarm. "W-where is this coming from, Ana? Is this because you were thinking of moving? I told you I'd come see you as often as possible. I didn't… I don't want you to move, but it wouldn't hurt me or us…." His thumb rubbed up and down the back of my hand in a comforting way. His dark eyes lowered onto me softly, adoringly…. "Ana, there is nothing you could do that would ever hurt me, because I know you wouldn't. That's not who you are; that's not the Ana I adore body and soul." "L-Lucas!" My head shot up so to meet his stare.

With the widest, warmest smile, he leaned in so to press our foreheads together. "Promise me you'll never worry about that, since there's no need to. FYI, I love you too; you are so incredibly precious to me. You're the closest thing to a sister I have, and I'm not about to let you go anywhere." Oh, Lucas…. I could feel an onset of tears forming in the corner of my eyes. My hand lifted up to grasp onto his arm. "So, don't worry, ok?" "I never want to hurt you, Lucas…." "You never will. I'm not blind, Ana; I know what you've given up for me… friends and acquaintances over the years. Close friends….."

This made my eyes grow gigantic, but Lucas kept going, keeping me securely close to him. "Hurt me…. how could you even think that? It's always been you who's given for me. Of course I know you love me; that's been obvious since we were kids." "It's true, Lucas. I do love you, so much….." My gaze began to lower. "I know, Ana; I know….. But I'm not the only one in the picture here. Whatever you choose to do- move, get a PhD, whatever- I'll support you too. This time belongs to you too; it's fine for you to cherish it."

"Lucas?" And he smiled…. He smiled at me. "You love me. That's enough, isn't it?" His finger wiped a tear off my cheek. _Me, Lucas, and Christian all holding hands and laying down in the field together- laughing in the sun. _"You know, Ana…" _Lucas's hand holding mine under the cherry trees; we were both looking at Christian. _"Meeting you was a blessing."

Lucas took one hand and I took the other. Their warmth automatically filled us. And I looked at Lucas and he looked at me. I would never let anyone else beside him hold her hand, for we both knew that for all the things our hands have held…

the best by far is her.


	22. The Magic in a Garden

I never liked gardens much; as a little boy, I found no use for them. All that changed however, when I saw her standing amongst the flowers.

_Christian, Lucas, and I went off to our city's botanical garden. I've always loved gardens, though my two best friends were less enthusiastic. They'd never been to a proper garden, they told me. Our guardian sat down under a tree and waved at us, letting us know that we were free to explore on our own. I excitedly ran around, mindful to smell each type of flower I passed. Lucas trailed along behind with his hands buried in his pockets. But Christian… I gazed back to see him glancing all around with wide, wonderful eyes. _

_You could hear birds all around and the bustling of tree branches and leaves. Lucas began looking for wildlife- insects, small animals, and whatnot- while Christian admired the flowers. Huh, I'd never seen him do that before. He caught me watching him and smiled. I flinched and immediately turned my head away, blushing a tiny bit. Odd, I never blush like that around him. But just now… I wanted to watch him longer, but I didn't want him to know that I was watching. I think… I think I enjoyed watching Christian's face, when he was learning something, seeing something he liked. I'd never felt that way about anyone before…. very strange indeed. Maybe I'm getting sick or something. _

"_Have flowers always looked like this?" Christian didn't ask anyone in particular, more so himself. I didn't have time to peer back at him. "Hey, look at this, Ana! I found a lizard!" "Oh, let me see, Lucas!" I went over to his side; there was this cute, little spotted lizard on a rock. Lucas wanted to pick him up, but it ran off. I giggled and looked back to Christian; he was standing by my favorite flowers- a red rose bush. I saw him bend over to sniff one, a brilliant pleased smile crossing his lovely face. Words can't describe how much I enjoyed that smile… how long I could stare at it for. Yep, I must be getting sick; only love-sick adults think like that. _

_Lucas spotted Christian too and grinned. "Hey, Christian! Like the flowers?" "Yes, they're beautiful," he smiled back at him. Lucas's grin grew as he got an idea. "I should pick some for him," he whispered to himself. He then took off, leaving Christian and I in this section of the garden by ourselves. I wandered over to him, observing him relishing the roses. "Do you like the garden?" I asked him. He nodded considerately. "Yes, I do; I didn't I would this much….. What's your favorite flower, Ana?" "I like roses; red ones." "Mmmmmm that makes sense." "Why?" That was a weird thing to say. "Because you look like one," he said like it was the most natural thing in world. His tone was matter-o-factly; not complementary, though I took it as one. I felt my cheeks start to sizzle again and I had to look down. _

_Later in the afternoon, the three of us were laying in the shade of a large oak tree. Lucas had snoozed off and I heard Christian taking deep breaths of warm, spring air. His eyes were closed and he had the most gorgeous smile. Once again, I found myself staring without realizing it. My eyes lowered softly when his fluttered open. His arms were out at his sides; he looked so relaxed and happy. _

_Christian's head turned to face me. My eyes just locked onto his, not saying anything. "I think I like gardens. They're magical…." "Yes, they are." "Did you know about this magic? Is that why you like coming here?" "I love flowers," I drew in a nice breath; it smelt so good all around us. Christian sighed gently. "So do I. I'm going to come here tomorrow, and the day after that… and the day after that." "Can I come too?" My mouth asked before I knew what I was saying. _

_Christian gazed at me, not saying anything for a long minute. We merely stared at each other there under that tree. It was a quiet, intense stare, like we were memorizing one another by heart. But I didn't need to remember Christian; he was already in heart- safe in my heart. He was the first to break the silence in the most organic way; at the perfect time. "I think I want to marry you," he said in a soft sigh. "What? We can't get married, we're best friends. Friends can't marry each other," that's what my ignorant young mind believed at the time. His eyes… oh, his beautiful eyes and flawless smile. He smiled at me in the most natural way possible. _

"_I don't care. I want us always to be together… always." "We are together," I grinned back at him. Christian's hand stretched out to take hold of mine. Then he rolled back onto his back, and with my hand in his, he shut his eyes once more. And I stared at him; I don't know for how long, but I do know it was for a long time. I think he fell to sleep like Lucas, but I didn't pull my hand away the whole time. I watched him effortlessly and found that I was right- I could stare at him for hours and never get bored. Oh yes, there must be something definitely wrong with me; no boy has ever made me feel this way before. So calm, and natural…. Still, my grip tightened on his hand. I hope I don't get well too soon; this was nice…. feeling so good around him. _

I don't know who said it, but they were right. A rose speaks of love silently, in a language known only to the heart.


	23. Tears

"Lucas, can we talk tonight? There's something I have to tell you."

I sat on the train staring outside the window. We were currently underground so there was nothing particular to look at. I was heading to the university. There was nothing I really had to do there, and campus would be empty since the graduation ceremony was over. Still, I wanted to go; I wanted to get out of the house today. Now before you even think it- no; this had nothing to do with Christian. It was just a coincidence that the university was the last place I saw him; it's not like I wanted to go on account of that. My subconscious wouldn't trick me like that, right? My eyes lowered softly as I rested my hand under my chin. Right?

My train of thought was broken by my phone buzzing. I checked to find a text message from Lucas. [Hey, Ana! You'll never guess! I know you're still bummed out, but I found the perfect thing to cheer you up. There's an exhibition on at the museum; Willy Chuck's Weird Wilderness Museum. Sounds cool or what?!] This made me smile and cringe at the same time. Erm, did I want to experience "the Willy" again? I'm sure he'd remember me- the woman who ran away screaming from a grossly oversized rat. And yes, I knew I was in a museum, but my phobia got the better of me. I'd mention that to Lucas too tonight…. after telling him about Christian.

Sighing, I gazed back out of the window again. I don't think it will change anything though. I was going to tell Lucas more for my own closure. I'll tell him and put this whole thing behind me. Why wouldn't I? Sure, it was "our" Christian, but it was different now; he was different now… He wasn't the same little, poor boy that we once knew. He was rich now; one of the top one percent. That was the deal-breaker for me; I'd had it with rich people. They were their own breed; even if you weren't born into wealth, you could still become one of "them". I wasn't willing to deal with that again; not again. Not after Franklin. You only through that once. I told myself that all rich men were the same; all cheaters, womanizers, and liars. No, I was never, ever going through anything like that again…

"_How could you do that to me?! Me! What the hell is wrong with you?!" I was eighteen at the time. My now former-boyfriend leaned up against the wall with his arms defiantly crossed; he didn't look me in the eye. I just stood there, yelling my head off. "Amy told me that Brittany told her that you two had sex last night! Is that true, Franklin?!" His stance was ice cold, as distant as possible; he knew he was caught. His pale lips parted a sliver. "What if it is?" My eyes widened as I couldn't believe my ears. The audacity… he didn't even try to deny it! _

"_Franklin, we've been together for three years! You were my only boyfriend through all of high school! I gave myself to you! And what do you do? You sleep with one of my best friends right after we had our first night together! Seriously, Franklin! Didn't that mean anything to you?!" I was screaming so much that tears involuntarily formed in the corners of my eyes. I was on the verge of crying. I couldn't believe this was happening…. After we shared a bed for the first time; right after we had…. _

"_What's the big deal? You knew I had a crush on Brittany since grade eleven," oh this boy. This insufferable monster…. "You told me it was nothing to worry about! I trusted you, Franklin! You told me I could trust you!" "Yeah, well… guess that was your mistake," he shrugged nonchalantly. All of a sudden, sadness and shock turned to anger- pure, unadulterated rage. My mistake? My hands rolled into shaky fists. My mistake…? I simply stared at him for a minute, pursing my lips tightly together and fighting the urge to strangle him. _

_Franklin watched me now in turn. Seeing my fuming reaction, he rolled his eyes. "It was just Brittany, Sia; come on. You know she's a one-night-stand kinda girl. She's not your competition. Besides, we're even now." "W-what?" I was seeing red- blood red. Not only did he act like this was nothing, but he insulted my ex-friend on top of that. I wouldn't have minded if this wasn't such a sexist remark. "Oh, don't act so innocent. Haven't you ever heard of revenge sex before?" "R-revenge sex? Revenge for what?!" My voice boomed so loud that my ears rang, and I'm sure his did too. _

_He tisked and ran his stocky hand through his short hair. Then his glare suddenly pierced mine. "Who's Christian?" His tone was jealous- very jealous. "Who?!" "Christian; the dude's name you kept repeating in your sleep." "What are you talking about? I don't know anyone named Christian," I declared affronted. It was obvious he didn't believe me, hissing through his teeth and straightening his back up. "How dumb do you think I am, Sia? You seriously expect me to believe that you don't know the asshole who's name you whispered in your sleep? While kept crying?" Crying? My eyes grew in surprise. I….. cried in my sleep? No, I didn't. I would know if I did. _

_I frowned, convinced this was just an excuse he was making up. "Quit lying; I don't cry in my sleep. And I definitely don't know any Christian." Well, not anymore… "Huh, news flash- you do, and did our first night together. I woke up to you crying all over your pillow and whispering his name." This alarmed me. He spoke so sincerely… like he was being honest with me. But still, it seemed too good a reason to have "revenge sex" in his sick, twisted logic. He wasn't getting away with that; not with me. _

"_Yeah right! Why would I cry? You only cry when you're sad or miss something. Why would I cry our first night together?" "Uh, because of this Christian asshat?" "I told you, I don't know any Christian! Why are you doing this?! Why don't you just admit that you wanted to bang Brittany and didn't want to break up with me first?! Why lie to me?!" "I didn't want to break up with you and I'm not lying! Why would I lie to you?! I love you! You're the one who hurt me first, Sia! This is your fault!" _

_If looks could kill, Franklin would have died right then and there. My lips pursed again as we glared daggers at each other. I was so mad I think I was physically trembling in anger. Eventually my mouth opened; I half-expected to see stem coming out of it. "Lucas is going to destroy you." "Oh, whatever. I can take him." "I don't think you can." "So what? You're going to break up with me and go tell your gay bodyguard?" People often referred to Lucas acting as my personal bodyguard since he was so much taller and bigger than me; not to mention extremely protective. But I didn't care right now; I just wanted to get away from Franklin, for him to know my loathing. _

"_I hate you, Franklin. You did this. You did this to us; this is all your fault! And right before graduation too. I hate you… I hate you!" "The feeling's not mutual," cause course that would make it too easy. "I never want to see you again! I never want to date anyone like you again!" "Oh, good. Then I hope your precious Christian isn't a loaded boy." "There is no Christian, you moron!" "Then explain the tears!" "I can't! I don't believe you! I-don't-believe-you!" _

Huh, weird…. I hadn't thought about that fight in like eight years. It took me a long time to get over Franklin; like a year or so. Never heard or seen him since graduation- thank goodness. He was my first and last boyfriend; I wasn't mentally ready to go through anything like that ever again. Still…. I never did find out if he was telling the truth or not. Me crying in my sleep and whispering Christian's name? That seemed so impossible that my first impulse was to disbelieve it. I would know something like that…. I would know…

A buzz from my phone still in my hand made me jump. It was another message from Lucas, though I didn't open it. Instead I got an idea. I opened a new message and typed in Kate's name. [Hi Kate.] She replied within seconds; she usually had her phone on her- unlike me. [Hey, Sia! What's up?] [Bit of a weird question. Do I cry in my sleep? I mean, have you ever seen me cry in my sleep before?] A moment passed. [Yeah, all the time. Why?]

I felt my heart skip a beat as my eyes grew huge. What? [What you mean "all the time"?] My thumb rapidly typed back. [You cry like every night in your sleep. You also mutter to yourself but Idk what you say- too quiet] What?! [Are you for real right now?] [Yeah? Wait, I thought you knew? I thought it was a medical thing or something] No! No, I didn't know that! Would have been nice if someone told me at some point! Well… I guess Franklin did, but I would've liked someone else to verify! Jesus… I cry in my sleep; I… actually cry in my sleep. My eyes moved back to the window yet again. Why would I cry? There's no logical reason… Just why would I cry? I'm not sad… so then, why…? What reason could there possibly be for all those tears?


	24. Inside the Recesses of His Mind Part 2

My mind was at war with itself for years. Or maybe, it was my mind at war with my heart…. It definitely knew what it wanted. Without a doubt.

_Once again in my dreams… sitting in that same green valley. I saw someone; she was a bit clearer this time- I think it was a "she". She was staring up at the sky; she looked so content, happy…. Funny, this scene seemed vaguely familiar to me, like I had dreamed it before… maybe lived it before, sometime in my youth. But I wouldn't know; large stretches of my childhood were pushed down to the deepest parts of me. And what was I supposed to do? Try and thrust through the true pitch darkness inside my heart, along the way seeing barely a glimmer, a shine of light- of color? That would be a lonelier journey than I could even grasp. So I tried… I wanted to wholeheartedly believe that there was nothing waiting down there for me; nothing within the unfathomable abyss of my heart. My eyes softened onto the girl laying on the grass; her hazy brown hair tossing gently behind her in the breeze. For if I tried to dive down, how far should I go? My hand unconsciously reached out for her as if it had a will of its own. How far can I go? _

_My eyes shot open, jolting me awake. I awoke to find my arm stretched up straight above me, like I was reaching for something on the ceiling. It was so unexpected that I merely stared up at it for a moment, my mind empty. I think I had another dream, but I couldn't remember of what again. Imagine my surprise and alarm to find fresh tearstains on my pillow, like I had been crying in my sleep. My finger slowly went down to wipe the remaining tears off my face. Insane, I can't remember the last time I cried; why would I cry? What was there to cry about? I don't think I was sad… I didn't really feel anything right now- just grey. Always only grey…._

_Everyone was super excited to see me at school the following Monday. They were all impressed with my bike crash, and more importantly that I wasn't injured. The whole experience didn't really faze me. I returned to riding my bike like it never happened, alarming my mother and sister. Like I said, grey heart. More than anyone else, Jessie was elated to see me. I actually stiffed surprised when she ran over to give me a hug. I guess I wasn't expecting it; I wasn't used to contact with girl, or at least I didn't think I was. "I'm so happy you're alright, Christian!" Her eyes almost had tears in them. I read her mind where she said that she thought today was the perfect day to "confess" to me. I grinned down at her so not to give it away and gently pulled out of her arms. She asked if I wanted to walk home with her, since she didn't want to go riding with me again so soon after the crash. I agreed, knowing what she had in store. It's not that I wanted to hurt her; I didn't want to hurt anyone, minus those I fought with. It's just… _

_Wearing my usual stoic expression, I met her outside after school. She blushed upon seeing me and kept very close to my side while we walked off campus. I knew she was occasionally looking at me but didn't address it. I didn't want to make her feel uncomfortable or hurt… I didn't want to hurt her. That was never my intention._

_We came to a clearing of grass along the way home. For some reason, my feet came to a halt as my head turned to face the valley. My hands were buried in my pockets and my hair swayed in the warm spring breeze out in front of me. Green grass…. and a bright, perfect blue sky. Why does this feel so nostalgic to me? I've never laid in a field like this one before, have I? _"You look happy, Christian." _Wait, where did that voice come from just now?_ _It rang from deep inside my head, out of nowhere. _

_It was about now that Jessie realized I wasn't walking anymore. She paused, peered back at me over her shoulder, and came to my side. "Christian?" I didn't say anything, just kept watching the field. "Christian?" She tapped my shoulder this time. This made me reactively flinch, swiftly blinking to her; she seemed startled. "A-are you alright, Christian? You just kind of zoned out right there." "Huh? Oh! Oh yeah… I was… I was…." What was I doing actually? I was looking at the valley but… I think… I think I was doing more… subconsciously so. "Uh, nothing… I was just…. it's nothing," bringing my hand onto my head, I began to move forward. Nothing….. _

_Jessie waited for a moment, staying perfectly still. Then she quickly spun around and took hold of the back of my shirt. I never planned on what happened next; it was so sudden and brief. I turned to look behind me and her face dropped. It looked like she was hit with a ton of bricks. Her hand immediately retracted as her cheeks both flushed and blushed at once. She didn't say anything right away, but I could still read her mind. It said that she was taken aback by my face just now. No, not my face- my eyes, to be exact. Without realizing it, they were so much deeper than she expected them to be. Deep and long-gazing; not in a bad way, but they told her all she needed to know. They were searching…. Without my realizing it, my eyes were far-reaching in that instant. I guess this is a good time to say that Jessie's quirk is that she can read the emotions in people's eyes. She never used it on me until just now; she was afraid of what she might see. She wanted me to like her, fall for her so badly… _

_But it was not to be- it was clear as day to her. Within the span of three seconds, I saw a wave roll over her mind; a sudden and violent understanding. Her worst fears had come true… She didn't confess to me; there was no point now. And I got a glimpse for the first time of what I looked like to people, to the outside world. It was not at all what I was expecting…. not at all. _

_In those three seconds, this whole sequence played inside her mind. She relied that I was kind, too kind- and that was part of my downfall. I didn't want to hurt anyone, particularly myself. That's why I denied so much to me, even things that I perhaps shouldn't. It was then that she understood why I was so different from all the other boys at school. And at the same time, she also clearly realized that I was never really looking at her or any other girl; not really… Without any awareness on my part, my gaze was always reaching far beyond any of them, towards something in the distance. Something I couldn't see, but desperately wanted to. Something I wanted to reach, to touch….. _

_My eyes widened at what she thought next. She realized that she would never be the one I'm looking at, not wholly… She'll never be able to give me what I truly desire. But still… I felt my heart begin to coil in agony. But still she won't be able to stop loving me; not today, or tomorrow, or ever. She'll hopelessly be in love with me, for as long as she remembers me. And despite everything, she and many other women will cry themselves to sleep, thinking only of me. _

_I never forgot the look on her face. I wanted to apologize, to say I'd try better, but honestly, I didn't know how. I couldn't explain why I never felt any interest in any of the girls- or boys- at school. I didn't know why I was like this. I had forgotten so much that I couldn't think of what the problem might be. It would be years before I fully remembered and finally understood why…. But the look on Jessie's face made me want to try. Some girl out there must make me feel something; bring some color into my life. And I would spend the next four years of my life desperately searching for a spark, a hint of color. If I didn't feel it naturally, perhaps I could force myself to experience it. I would try… I didn't want to hurt anyone else, not like this. I would force myself to feel something for someone who was so hopelessly in love with me. Then maybe whatever searching my eyes were doing would be over. I didn't even know what they were searching for…. I had no clue they even were. Like me crying in my sleep, I had no idea..._

I was twenty-two when I figured it out. When I understood for the first time that she took a piece of me so long ago, and ever since I've been reaching in all the wrong places to get that piece back. It took me thirteen years to remember that she was still holding that piece; that she'd always been holding it. By then, I'd seen so much… I saw that I didn't want that piece back; I wanted the woman holding it beside me instead. Thirteen years later…..

And it was all thanks to a red rose bush.


	25. Christian's First Fist Fight

_I could have stared at him for hours, and did. _

_Lucas was away sick that day. The schoolyard bullies wasted no time abusing his absence. I was waiting for Christian for us to eat lunch together, like we did every day. I sat on the bottom step of the staircase at the back doors with my lunch in my lap. While gazing down at my hands, I heard three dreaded familiar voices approach me. _

"_Well, well, well, if it isn't little princess Anastasia," the leader chortled; I still didn't know his name one year later. Recently he and some of the other kids had been calling me "princess", since I shared the same name with the late Russian princess. I looked up and frowned, not saying a word. Christian would be here soon…. He was on his way. _

"_Where's the pansy?" My lips still refused to answer, enhancing my frown instead. "Awe, don't tell me her highness is all alone today?" He teased in a sick, condescending tone. His lackies laughed at this and I felt my cheeks start to flush. Christian is coming; he will be here….. I don't have to worry about these guys. My confidence began to waver as leader-boy took a step closer; he was eying my lunch greedily. "What do we have here? A small lunch for the small princess?" He visibly reacted as I scooted away from his general direction, still not saying anything. A scowl proceeded to follow on his thin, hollow lips. _

"_I asked you a question. But I'm going to tell you something now; give me your lunch, princess." Still nothing on my end. "Didn't you hear me? I said hand it over, now." I didn't budget, staring desperately down at the lunch. My eyes suddenly grew in horror as his disgusting hand unexpectedly and quite forcefully reached down to snatch it from my lap. I blinked up startled and alarmed, only to find him smiling down at me with the malevolent of grins. "Turns out you can't hear me, after all," he chuckled sinisterly to himself, along with his cronies. _

"_Give it back." Oh, I can't describe how elated I was to hear that voice. We all looked to see Christian marching over to the gathering, him firing bullets at the leader with his eyes. The leader simply rolled his and "hmphed". "Oh, it's you," he stated like he was annoyed at Christian's arrival. Christian stationed himself securely between me and the bullies, not taking his glare off them. "I told you to stay away from my friends," he growled in a low tone. "Who are you? Playground security? We'll torment whoever we want, when we want." "No, you won't; not Ana. Not while I'm here." _

_This made me gaze up to Christian's angered face. There was something about him just now… something that made me feel safe and valued. Something I truly enjoyed feeling… And it made me want to make Christian feel this way too, though I had no clue how. The bullies, on the other hand…. _

_They just laughed and nudged each other in the ribcage. "Awe, look at the love birds! Pansy's gonna be so jealous!" "When's the wedding?" "I don't know, princess; I think you can do better." Christian was having none of this; I noticed his fist begin to tremble in rage. "I said give her back her lunch- now!" "No! You can't tell us what to do, Christ-none. Your little girlfriend here deserves to get her lunch stolen if you can't do anything about it," leader-boy said like this was iron-clad logic. _

_Christian didn't react right away. Then, after a moment or so, his little hand raced towards the lunch box. Leader-boy chuckled and passed it over to his lanky friend, who proceeded to hold it out of Christian's reach. While he was trying to get it, leader-boy just continued laughing with his arms folded and his other friend actually pushed Christian from behind. This made me audibly gasp, covering my mouth with horror. He pushed Christian… he hurt Christian. I could feel a bout of tears coming on as my breathing deepened. Seeing Christian get hurt, in any circumstance…. I felt like I was going to have a panic attack, just like that day I found Christian at the bottom of the staircase with a broken leg…. _

_The other crony came over to him, picking Christian up by the collar of his shirt. Christian struggled to break free, eventually doing so taking a step back. He glared viciously at the two goons but didn't say anything. "Face it, pretty boy; you're outnumbered," leader-boy snarled, his lips curling into a twisted sneer. I watched with a wide, horrified stare. No, I wanted Christian to feel all safe and protected like he just made me feel…. I want to help him too! "No, don't! Leave him alone!" I heard myself scream before I realized that I was the one speaking. I jumped to my feet by now and had my hands gathered on my chest. _

_Leader-boy rolled his eyes and sent me an unimpressed glare. "Be quiet. You can't do anything." "Yeah, you're too weak and helpless." "Heh, just like a real princess." "Don't talk to her like that!" Christian ordered in a yell. "Would you shut up too?" One of the goons proceeded to shove him back onto the ground. I cried out desperately. "Leave him alone! Don't touch him!" And that's when leader-boy looked behind at me. The next few seconds are hazy, but I do remember the sensation of getting hit. "I said shut it!" He raised his voice, swinging his hand back to slap me clear across the face. _

_The impact was so hard that I actually felt back onto the steps. There was a bright, burning red mark on my cheek; it stung…. a lot. His cronies gasped in shocked, clearly horrified that their boss would strike a girl. But it was Christian's reaction which I remember best. I didn't see the first punch; I didn't the following punches after that. By the time I checked, Christian was throwing his fist repeatedly into the leader's face. Leader-boy was crying by now and pleading for help. _

_By now a group of kids had gathered around to see what was going on. Some started cheering, others started shrieking. I don't know exactly how it happened, but the cronies got involved in the fight; I think it was when some older kids- like grade five and six- saw that their leader hit me. Slapping a little second-grader like me was apparently a serious crime. One of the older boys threw Christian off leader-boy so he could get a swing in. Christian tumbled to the ground; amongst all the chaos, I didn't take my eyes off him. _

_The area was manic by now. Fights never broke out at our school, and when they did, they became a gigantic affair. But I didn't care about any of that; my full attention was on Christian. What I did next I suppose was out of instinct. I saw Christian swipe his mouth with his bloody hand and stare off into nowhere for a second. I still wanted him to know that feeling; I wanted him to know he was safe and valued. And now seemed like the perfect time. Without conscious thought, I stood back up. Looking only at Christian, I slowly made my way towards him through the bustling crowds. Teachers had arrived by now and were trying to break the whole thing up. Course, I didn't notice their appearance either. I simply walked towards, Christian- my beloved friend….. _

_Christian blinked confusedly up to me when I took his bloodied hand into both of mine. I kneeled down in front of him on the grass, peering down at his hand. I held it as safely as I could in mine, pressing my palms gently into his. Christian watched as I wordlessly brought it up to my lips so to kiss it. Then I looked at him; I looked at him and he looked at me. He was crying; I guess so was I. His eyes shifted to the red patch on my cheek. With his free hand, he stretched up to touch it in a sad, regrettable sort of way. I know he was saying that he was sorry to me, but I shook my head. I placed one of my hands over his on my cheek and softly shut my eyes. There was nothing to be sorry about- he made me feel so safe and valued just now. So long as he felt precious too, there was no reason to be sorry. _

"_Christian, you don't ever feel lonely, do you?" A smile; a wonderful, perfect smile. "Oh, Ana; I know I'm not alone." _

Somehow, without my ever noticing it, it felt so natural, having her near.


	26. Cherry Trees

Cry? Why would I cry in my sleep? It didn't make any sense to me. Walking from the train station to the university, I passed by some cherry trees; they were fresh in bloom. My feet came to a slow halt as I stood watching the trees; their leaves and pink petals swaying in the springtime air. Cherry trees, and spring…. Little memories buried in the recesses of my heart. They were so precious to me, though I didn't know why. Why was I so unwilling to let go of the past? Why was it always there, lingering all throughout me and everything I did? Why was he always there…..? And why hadn't I realized until I saw, until I met Christian Grey? Why did seeing his face, his flawless smile remind me of so much? Countless memories…. My eyes softened onto the pink cherry blossoms. No, it didn't make sense. After twenty years, why was he still a gigantic part of me?

_Christian and I went out to the cherry blossom orchard. It was just the two of us this time and he was eager to tell me something. It was spring and the trees were all fresh in bloom; tiny petals gently fell all around us like pink snow. I found it absolutely magical; if magic existed on earth, it was here. _

"_Come," Christian climbed up onto one of the branches and held out his hand for me. I took it and followed his lead up the tree. We were still small and didn't weigh enough to do any harm. Still, we weren't technically allowed to climb the trees but that was of no consequence at the moment. Christian got to a large enough branch for us to sit on. He made sure I was sitting securely first before planting himself close beside me. We gazed over the rest of the trees and yard, and my mouth dropped. Stunning- perfectly stunning. The trees were so lovely from up above. The pink bled into the blue sky and green grass seamlessly. It was like a literal painting- a masterpiece; one I could have stared at for hours. "So pretty," I whispered in awe. I didn't realize that Christian wasn't currently looking at the landscape like me. "Yes; yes, you are," his tone was so soft and soulful. _

_Neither of us said anything more for a minute. I did blink down to see Christian rest his hand over top mine on the branch. Then my eyes peered up to his face; he seemed so serene and intent. Much too serious an expression for a boy his age. It was enraptured and enchanting all at the once. And without my comprehending it, my face morphed into a mirror of his. I'd learned so much from Christian these past couple of years, and experienced feelings and emotions I didn't even know existed. I think… I think Christian was the one who taught me that you can learn so much about someone just by silently watching them. Every line in his face, every movement of his hands, even the flash in his throat as he breathed- they all told a story. Countless stories. Without my realizing it, I learned something new about him, and consequently the world, each time I looked at him. And in the past year, I found myself staring at him more and more… _

"_Ana…." "Christian." "Are you happy?" His tone…. His tone was like a warm, fuzzy blanket I wanted to wrap myself in. Yes, of course I was happy; I'm with you. But my lips merely smiled, and my head nodded. "Good," he sounded so relieved…. "Are you happy, Christian?" I ventured to ask; not to be polite, I genuinely wanted to know. Christian watched me for a long while, not saying anything right away. I felt my heart burst into a million glorious pieces when he eventually smiled. Oh, that smile of his; it'll always be my favorite feature. I adored it when he looked happy, was happy…. If I could capture it somehow and preserve it in my heart…. Just like how he was already inside my heart. _

_Christian's hand moved so to be holding onto mine; our fingers laced around each other's. He eyes lowered and his entire face softened. "He stepped down, trying not to look long at her, as if she were the sun, yet he saw her, like the sun, even without looking." _

He remembered the whole quote… that's right, he read Tolstoy and memorized the quote, just to repeat it to me. I hadn't noticed that while remembering the scene, I had fallen onto my knees. One of my hands rested on the ground alongside both of my knees. My head was down, with my long hair falling out down beside my face. I don't recall falling; my mind was elsewhere, focused on more important things. There I knelt down in front of the cherry trees without knowing how I got into such a position. And I couldn't have cared less.

I remember… I remember that day…. He was there- he was there and perfect. I could play the scene over and over in my mind, I retained it so vividly. It was something I wanted to remember… I wanted to remember too. Twenty years ago….. Once again, a vast assemblage of memories swirled through my head; each more potent than the last. _Christian and I first meeting._ Christian. _All of us laughing with Christian pushing me on the old, wooden swing._ Christian…. _Him standing by the rose bush in the botanic gardens_. Christian! _Him kissing my forehead the day we last parted._ Oh, Christian.

Why does it hurt this much? Why, after all this time, I wasn't able to forget him? Why couldn't I date other men and just move on with life? Why did I only ever date one boy who I knew I wouldn't end up with? Why did I never let myself….? A tear fell down onto my leg. I gazed back up to the trees with tears filling up my eyes. Why after twenty years… do I still want to see him?

This revelation only made me cry more. Wait, do I… want to see him? Yes; yes, of course I do. I can't deny it. I want to see him, be as near to him as possible. Ethical or not, I want to see Christian once more. My hand gently rose up to my now tear-stained cheek. I guess I want to see him because… because… It's clear now. Oh, who am I kidding? It's always been picture-perfect clear; I'm the one who chose to close her eyes and keep them shut all this time. It's beyond clear… I must be in love with him…. I'm still in love with him. Before I knew it, I'd grown to love him so much…. I… "I love Christian Grey."

"Uh, miss? Are you ok?" An unforeseen hand on my shoulder made me practically fall over sideways. My eyes shot back to see a strange man staring down at me with concern. Without my noticing, a few people were standing around and looking at me. I guess it was pretty weird to see a woman kneeling in front of trees and crying to herself. These kinds of things only happen in the movies or to crazy people; and I was neither in a movie or crazy.

I quickly wiped the remaining tears away from my eyes and got up. "Huh, sorry! I uh….. I'm fine!" I think I didn't sound as convincing as I wanted to be, though I did try smiling. His worry didn't wash away. "Is everything alright? Did something happen?" "N-no, I was just on my way to the university and I…. um, I'm fine, sir; really." "Are you sure, miss? You looked pretty sad just there." "Oh no! I'm much better now. I was just… uh, it's nothing. I'm fine now. I…"

"Sia!" Wait, I know that voice, but I couldn't quite put my finger on it. Glancing over my shoulder, I saw Jack Hyde running over to me. Oh yeah! Him! Lucas's new co-worker; wonder what he's doing by the university? Wearing a concerned expression as well, he rushed over to me. Imagine my surprise and slight dismay when he suddenly took me by the shoulders. "Sia, are you alright?" "Y-yeah, I'm fine," my tone was a bit shaky, still startled by his sudden arrival. "You're crying!" His eyes grew in alarm. "Uh well, I um…. I'm ok now. I just remembered something… but I'm alright."

I was even more surprised when Jack turned to the first man, giving him a grateful grin. "Thank you, sir. I appreciate you checking on her. I'll take it from here." Take what from here? I blinked over to him confused. The stranger nodded at him and spun around to leave, like he thought I was now in good hands or something. I mean, I liked Jack as a person but that was really weird. Jack waited until he and the other bystanders were gone before turning to address me. "You alright?" "I am…"

His face suddenly contorted as if he was struck with a lightening bolt. "Right! Lucas told me you lost the funding. I see why you're upset now." Funding? Oh that! Huh, I kinda forgot about that in the past couple of days. Uh, should I correct him? What would I say? How could I explain myself? He didn't give me time to explain, instead wrapping his arm over my shoulder. He grinned down at me. "Do you worry. I have just the cure for that," he announced, starting to lead me away from the trees.


	27. The Softness of Her

_(Memory told from Christian's P.O.V.)_

"_Lucas! Lucas, wait!" I had to shut my nine-year-old eyes. His tears and her screams pierced every cell in my body. This was pain on a gage I'd never experienced before; in my short life, nothing ever hurt like this. I loved them…. I loved them both so much, and here I was, being torn away from everything, from everyone…. My eyes gently fluttered back open to see Ana staring off where Lucas had just run away. She was on the verge of crying as well. _

_The look she shot me next was full of venom- venom and conflict. Her eight-year-old lips pursed as she glared daggers straight at me. "How could you do that?! Lucas heard you!" "I didn't know he was there," I offered meekly; I didn't want to fight. I didn't want our last moments together to end in anger. "He was! He was there and he heard you! How could you say you love me three days after Lucas told you?! Why now, Christian? Why?!" _

_I simply ogled Ana for a short minute. I could feel my heart start to churn; she's so beautiful- that was the only thought going through my young mind then. Four years later and I can't believe how I'm still stunned every time I look at her. My lips parted a sliver. Why did I confess now of all times? Why? _Why.

"_Are you listening to me, Christ-…?" Ana's sentence was cut off when I reached out to pull her into me. My body acted on a will of its own; it moved before I could cognitively react. It knew what it wanted- it wanted Ana close to me; as close as possible. While holding her back with one arm, my other arm snaked around her side stretching up so to touch the back of her head. I knew her eyes were wide with surprise, but I didn't care. She had to be near; it wasn't a want at this point. I needed her near me. _

_I let out a soft sigh as she succumbed, wrapping her own arms around me. I could almost feel the warmth of her hands through the back of my shirt. This was it, my lower lip began to quiver. This would be the last time I ever enjoyed their warmth… "I'm going to forget you, Ana. I'm going to leave here today and never think of you again," I half-believed the words coming out of my mouth. I wanted to forget; I didn't want to miss her because it would kill me. Missing her would drive me mad; I knew that even at the age of nine. For my sanity, I had to forget… I had no choice. _

_Ana gave a small quiver and buried her face into my chest. "Then I'll forget you. I'll forget too….." She repeated. "Yes, please forget me. Forget and move on with life, and I'll do the same." It was better this way… There was no point in both of us suffering. And with that out of the way, I could just relish in these last few moments with her. I could hold her, admire her, love her without remorse or guilt. Even if it was only for this minute, I wouldn't trade it for the world; I could love her now with all my heart before I forgot….. My eyes closed tenderly again as I took in the scent of Ana's hair. _

_I kept her pressed up against me as tight as humanly possible. I held her in my arms and knew I would never hold something again so perfect. I adored every inch, every aspect that was Anastasia. Even her loyalty to a boy we both treasured so much. Lucas…. My mouth opened as I remembered to breathe. Oh god, I'm begging you- please, please let Lucas stay with her. I know he'll protect her; if I can't stay and watch over her, I know he will. He loves her and will obliterate anyone who tries to harm her. I'm a selfish boy- I want her safe above else. Please… if I can't keep her safe, make someone else do it; someone I trust. For even if I forget Ana, I couldn't bear the thought of anything happening to her. Not her- not this angel. I'm so selfish…. I love her, a tear rolled down my cheek. I love them both, my brother and my angel…. They're so precious. _

_I finally pulled her tenderly back so to meet her gaze; she was weeping silently now too. Staring at each other for a time that was much too short, I brought my lips in to kiss her forehead. We both closed our eyes again as I kissed her. My lips caressed her skin and I swore my mind exploded; I felt her color pink seep inside me, coloring my grey heart. _

You cannot comprehend how precious you are.

"W-where are we going, Jack?" Jack led me towards university campus, holding firmly into my hand. "I know this quiet little bar near campus that's really good. You'll love it there." "Oh, sorry! I don't drink," I said, trying to wiggle my hand out of his insanely tight grip. "Well, today's the exception. It'll make you feel better." What the…? "Uh, sorry Jack, but I'm going to have to decline. I was going to the university and….." "Why are you going there? You're just gonna get depressed again. Come on." "No, Jack. I'm really….."

"Didn't you hear the lady? She said no." Both our feet came to a screeching halt. We blinked to the side in surprise to see…. to see…. I felt my eyes start to tear up at the mere sight of him. Him- the one who hasn't left my mind since I first saw him in his office almost two weeks ago. Christian… my Christian. While I was gawking at him in bewilderment and overjoy, Jack groaned and rolled his eyes. "You," he didn't bother hiding the venom in his tone.

Christian didn't look at me; his eyes were firing at Jack. He looked mad- like enraged. I hadn't seen that look since that day leader-boy slapped me on the playground. Why would he glare at Jack like that? "What are you doing here, Grey?" Jack made the monumental mistake of lightly pushing me behind him, so to stand in between us. Christian eyes flared up; I think he was seeing red at this point. When Christian didn't answer, Jack huffed again.

"Look, she already said she doesn't want the job, so leave her alone already. She's not one of your slave employees you can abuse," Jack spat at the billionaire CEO. I was so stunned by this that my jaw actually dropped. He must have some balls, talking to Christian like that. But Christian didn't flinch, intensifying his glare onto Jack.

"How dare you lie to Lucas?" "What? How do you know Lucas?" "You told him Ana agreed to go drinking with you tonight and you were coming to the university to fetch her." "You what?!" I blinked up at him in shock. Why… why would he lie like that?! I don't even drink! Lucas knows that. Jack looked equally stunned by this. "What?! How did you?... Oh right, the mind-reading quirk. So what? I met Sia a couple of weeks ago and wanted to get to know her better." "Oh, don't you lie to me too. That's not what you had in mind, Hyde," Christian sounded like he was ready to kill. I don't know what he read in Jack's mind, but it probably wasn't good.

Jack frowned and had the audacity to grab hold of my hand again. Bad move. Christian's face read that he wanted to rip Jack away from me. You could see that he was struggling to keep his calm composure. "You're just as heartless as you were in high school. You think I or more importantly Lucas would let you near Sia? After the way you treated all those women? Yeah, I remember Jessie- I remember her. You think Sia's gonna go through any of that? Just leave. You're not her boss anymore, Grey." "Jack, stop!" Ok, enough's enough; I had to intervene. But Christian gave me a softer gaze which told me he'd take care of it. And I swore I could see him smile for the briefest of seconds when he looked at me.

"No, you're the one who's going to leave, Hyde. I should report you for attempting to drug Ana later at the bar, but I'll let you off with a warning this time. If you ever come near Ana again, I'll have a restraining order drawn up so fast it'll make your head spin. And don't get in the habit of lying to Lucas either; we wouldn't want your reputation getting around your workplace, would we?" Jack growled lowly in response, still not releasing my hand no matter how hard I tugged. Drug me?! Did Christian just say "drug me"? Jack lied to Lucas so he wouldn't look for me when Jack drugged and did who knows what to me. This….. this sick monster! I would have ripped his hand out of its socket if I could. But unfortunately, I'm not that physically strong.

Christian saw me struggling and frowned deeply. "Now you have three seconds to let go of her hand before I break your arm," he ordered in a very low, threatening tone. He wasn't playing around; neither was Jack. "Why do you care? You're not her boss; you don't know her. Why should you care?" "I said three seconds- and I'm already counting." A contorted growl erupted from Jack's lips as he reluctantly let me go. Within seconds, I ran out in front of him over to Christian's side. We both watched the now fuming Jack shake his head and chuckle sinisterly.

"You're making a big mistake if you have anything to do with him. Do you know who this man is, Sia?" "Yes; yes, I do," I took a step nearer to Christian. Jack scowled, glaring hate-filled daggers at both of us. "You're not the only one with a quirk, Grey." "Leave, now," Christian authoritative tone just now….. "Alright, alright. But don't say I didn't tell you so, Sia." With a forced contrite smirk, he dug his hands into his pockets and spun around to leave. He stomped off, leaving Christian and I there all by ourselves. Just the two of us….


	28. Inside the Recesses of His Mind Part 3

_I was twenty-two at the time; twenty-two when absolutely everything collapsed. It had been four years since high school. I recall the exact day… I was at one of those fancy gardens at my mom's friend's place. Emily- my fifteenth girlfriend- was with me, and Elliot was also here somewhere. It was the last place and time I thought it would happen… I wasn't expecting to happen at all. But it did, and it all started with a rose bush. _

_We were scrolling through the garden, Emily and me; she was on my arm. We'd been going out for three months or so; my longest relationship was almost six months, with my shortest lasting only a couple of weeks. I'd slept with so many women and seen so many faces, I couldn't even remember all their names. Emily was pretty alright though. She was blonde, slender, and pretty like a picture. She liked the flowers and being outside; so I thought why not. While she was busy admiring some purple flowers- I don't know what they're called- I casually scanned around. I always had a fondness for gardens, ever since I was a kid. No clue where that came from. _

_Nothing really caught my attention until I spotted a single red rose bush. My low grin began to fade as my eyes fixated on it. Letting go of Emily's arm, I stepped towards it, not moving my stare even slightly. Roses…. red roses. Why did that ring a bell in the back of my mind? It was faint but I could hear it. Roses- where have I seen them before? I mean I've seen roses before of course, but…. there was something about this rose bush. It seemed more vibrant…. more distinct. Each rose like a work of art all on its own. And the smell…. I know that scent. I know this…. _

_My eyes unconsciously began to widen, like they wanted to absorb as much of the rose bush as possible. For some reason I couldn't move, I couldn't breathe. Roses… Beautiful, blooming red roses…. I found myself petrified in front of them; the bell in my head growing louder and louder. Roses, in a garden….. Wait, which garden? What am I thinking about? What am I trying to remember? _

"Have flowers always looked like this?" _My heart stopped. No, I couldn't breathe… The outside world rapidly seemed to disappear and breathing became of little consequence. That voice just now…. it was mine. I was speaking to someone, but who? Who is inside my heart, in the deep recesses of my mind? My eyes shut themselves. Who else could possibly be down there?_

_My eyes opened at some unexpected and soft movements all around me. When I reopened my eyes, I saw that I was no longer in my mom's friend's garden; no, this was somewhere else. Somewhere far, far away from here….. I looked all around; everything had this familiar air about it. It was like some place I had previously visited on several occasions, though I had no actual memory of doing so. But that wasn't all; oh no. There was a big, gorgeous red rose bush; one I had to approach and smell the flowers. _

_Then, like magic, I gazed out in front of me from the rose bush. There was a gigantic oak tree less than fifteen feet away. It sheltered everything underneath it. My mouth opened in pure awe at a girl, a woman lying on the grass under its canopy. She was… oh my god, she was perfect. She radiated this light, warm aura; from the soles of her feet all throughout the strands of her long hair. The most brilliant smile rested on her red rose lips. She was laying with her arms stretched out at her sides with her hair spread all around in the grass. This striking creature looked happy…. so happy. I particularly loved the gorgeous shade of pink in her mind. _

_I could have stared at her forever; she was like a painting with how perfectly she fit into everything. To my stun and delight, her eyes eventually opened, and she sat up to gaze back at me. This woman, the most beautiful entity on earth….. she felt so familiar, so nostalgic to me. There was something in her eyes, her smile; they drew me in like a magnet. I was pins and needles to hear the sound of her voice, knowing it would be the most glorious sound to human ears. _

_I was right. Her lovely mouth opened, and soft, tender words started to fall from it_. "Do you like the garden?" _Her voice….. her voice._ _I knew it; I have no idea from where, but I'd surprisingly heard it before. Somewhere…._ "I'm going to come here tomorrow, and the day after that….. and the day after that." _I gasped in utter disbelief and shock. My voice again, only I didn't say anything. It's as if it came from the plants, from the environment…._ _It was mine, but I don't remember saying it. I never said anything like that before, have I? Her eyes lowered onto me in the gentlest, most profound way possible._ "Can I come too?"

_My body felt to be trembling and completely still at the same time. I was on fire and ice cold; falling and floating all at once. Everything hurt and I felt better than I had since I can remember. Looking at her, I became a myriad of contradictions. I wanted to know what was going on, and I never wanted to leave. All of this existed inside of me; it was something I carried for god knows how long. But I could carry her forever, I realized while soaking her in. I would carry her forever…. _

"I think I want to marry you." _My voice again. This startled me, though I didn't physically react. Her smile grew playfully. _"We can't get married, we're best friends. Friends can't marry each other." _This woman…. this angel- this pink angel. _"I don't care. I want us always to be together." _I single tear dripped down my cheek. Yes… yes, I did want us always to be together, didn't I? More than anything, I wanted you to be as close as possible. To hear you sigh, safe here in my arms. She stood up, facing me entirely now. Our eyes locked for a solid minute before the sincerest smile bloomed across her lips again. Her stare softened kindly, adoringly…._ "We are together."

_Together…. together… _

"_Christian? Christian!" I blinked, coming back to reality. What seemed like a good couple of minutes turned out to be like three seconds. I was still staring at the rose bush when I came flying back. Emily was tugging at my shirt and looked rather worried. "Christian, are you alright?" Alright? "You're crying!" I am? I didn't even have to check with my hand; I could sense the tears falling down my face. There I stood, motionless for a good minute; my eyes still frozen onto the rose bush. _

_By now a few bystanders had stopped to observe, not that I noticed nor cared. My attention was on much more important matters. Finally, my lips parted, letting the saltness of my tears graze my tongue. "I remember….." "Huh?" Emily asked, still very concerned. "I remember… I remember her." "Who?" "Anastasia… her name is Anastasia." I remember her; my first love… the girl, now woman who permeates every fibre of my being. She's infused in me, inseparable and unavoidable. She, her… my Anastasia. The beautiful pink mind, the human rose….. Perfection personified. And the reason my heart has been so grey these past eleven years. _

Just one look at a rose bush and the world shifted under my feet. I became a different person that day; fundamentally altered. Emily and I broke up after I wasn't able to get erections with other women. She was my last "girlfriend". After her, I turned my attention to my work. I was relatively pathless before but now I wanted a job; I wanted a caress. It took some time but eventually I started making serious money and raising in the business world. I became the CEO of my own company when I was twenty-eight years old.

Of course, this sudden change in character confused my family and friends. My mother was thrilled. Elliot was more perplexed than anything. He once asked me while I was busy working on some paper why I bothered. What could there possibly be to gain from all this? Surely it wasn't money; our family was already loaded. "No," I told him. "It has nothing to do with finance or reputation…" My gaze lowered as I turned to look at the red rose on my desk. I always kept one near me now.

"I need to be the one to find her; I have to find her. After all, it was me who told her I'd forget first."


	29. This is a Love Story

Once upon a time… _"Hi! I'm Christian."_ A boy met a girl. _"Ana; Anastasia Steele."_ And their fate was sealed.

"Are you alright, Ana?" "Yes," I couldn't take my eyes off Christian. He scanned me over for injury twice, only sighing when nothing appeared out of order. "What are you doing here?" "I….. I was going to the university," my voice stuttered; I wasn't quite sure what to say just yet. This seemed puzzling to him. "It's the weekend; everything's closed, even with your extra library access." "I know…." My eyes finally dropped down. Then a thought came to mind. "Why are you here?" I countered.

Christian didn't look as startled as I expected, though his eyes did lower a touch. "I was on my way to the university too." This did surprise me. "Why? Graduation ceremonies are over; no one's there today," I heard myself exclaim. He failed to reply for a minute, instead electing to lock his eyes onto me again. He stared briefly, his lips parting a sliver before words came out. "I wasn't going for business…. I just wanted to go; to be in the area." Be in the area, my eyes began to widen. But why? The university was my place- it was practically a part of me now. That was reason enough for me to go, but Christian….

"I don't…. I don't understand," once again, my mouth uttered without my brain's permission. "Neither do I. You're going to the university and you don't even have your books." I think my jaw literally dropped, I was so stunned by this. What's more alarming, he was right! How could I forget my research? I had my backpack with me, but it was clearly empty. Now, to be fair, I wasn't sure if I was actually going to work today, but I always carried something with me just in case. Christian observed my dumbfounded reaction, taking the opportunity to soften his stance a little. It wasn't drastic, but I noticed.

"I was…. I was….. uh, you're right; I didn't come with anything. I… I don't know why… I guess, I mean I suppose I just wanted to be here." "Why?" He gently pushed. "I'm not sure. I haven't been here since I last saw…" The words turned to cotton in my throat as my eyes started to grow in realization. Since I last saw you… that was what I was about to say. And I think he knew; he knew…. Slowly our gazes met again; his much sturdier than mine. But still soft- his eyes had this softness to them.

"That's right; the university was the last place we saw each other," he said in the sincerest of tones. "C-Christian?" "It's ok, Ana; I understand. That's why I'm here too….. It's the place I last was with you," his heart-stopping smile just now…. He smiled and I felt like I was going to die. I wanted….. I wanted….. "I wanted to be close to you." "I wanted to be close to you….." I repeated his line in a whisper. He spoke first- he said it first. Yes; oh yes. I wanted to be close to him. I remember that feeling of wanting to be a near to him as possible. My hands began to quiver uncontrollably. Oh god, how I remember….

"Ana." "Christian…." "I'm so relieved." "Huh?" I blinked up to him in surprise and confusion. "You and Lucas stayed so close all these years. I read it in Jack's mind. Lucas's still so protective, so loving…" Tears were a definite possibility when his smile relaxed deeply, profoundly- like he was so immeasurably content. "I'm so happy," he whispered more to himself than me. "T-that makes you happy, Christian?" "Oh, so much; I was so afraid that you might have felt alone at some point these past twenty years." Christian…. My heart raced so fast that I could no longer feel it. After all this time… All this time…. he worried about me being alone; more than anything, he never wanted me to be lonely. My lips parted slightly in disbelief and adoration. It didn't matter if it was him or Lucas, so long as I wasn't lonely- so long as someone deeply loved me.

It was then that I understood how unselfish and truly in love with me Christian Grey was. And all doubt suddenly vanished.

My breathing was heavy; the world around me started to shake. All colors, everything became mute- everything that wasn't Christian. I didn't want him to feel lonely either… I wanted him to know that he was safe and valued. Just like on the playground so long ago, it was paramount to me now that he knew how safe and valued he was. "I'm not mad at you anymore, Christian. Neither is, Lucas. For the record, he understands; he knows that you're straight and did nothing wrong. But he still loves you, in a friend sense- and thinks of you often. We both… we both…"

"Ana!" That beloved voice startled Christian and me. We turned to see a heavily-breathing Lucas emerge from the corner. It looked like he had been running, probably to check in on me; he knew something would be up since Jack mentioned drinking. He first saw me and then his eyes shifted over onto Christian. I didn't think human eyes could get so wide. He gawked while his mouth fell in sheer disbelief. "C-Christian?!" Christian simply smiled at him warmly. "Hello, Lucas."

I observed from the side as Lucas walked towards Christian; both men opening their arms. They embraced, hugging each other tightly. So strange; Lucas recognized it was "our Christian" right away, while it took me a long time. Then again, maybe I didn't want to recognize Christian at the start. Lucas was the only one who never truly forgot Christian; he got over him in a healthy way and cherished their friendship memories. He was the only one Christian never told to forget him…. Eventually they pulled back, smiling at one another.

"What are you doing here?! It's been like what? Twenty years?" Lucas was so excited, he could barely contain himself. I'll admit, I did enjoy seeing him like that. "I came to find Ana," Christian responded. "Ana?" Lucas blinked back to me confused. It took him about ten seconds to figure it out. "Wait… You're weren't…. You're not "Christian Grey", are you? The Christian Grey?" "The very same," he grinned. "Ana! Why didn't tell me?!" He sounded super eager now. But my smile began to fade as I felt the familiar surge of hesitance swell up inside of me. I merely stared back at my best friend. "Lucas, I can't….." I couldn't bring myself to finish my sentence.

Lucas peered back to Christian, who gave him an informative look. This made him understand everything, shown by the comprehensive way Lucas's head nodded. Then Christian motioned my way, smiling as Lucas came over to stand in front of me. My best friend's smile was so tender and kind down upon me; so adoring like it always was. "Ana- you kind, kind woman." "You've always been there for me, Lucas….." "And I always will. Like I told you before; you never have to worry about that. It's ok now- I'm ok…." Lucas paused for a second, taking in a deep, sound breath.

"But now it's time to think about what you want, Ana." "Lucas!" My eyes grew large. His smile softened. "I'm not an idiot- I see the way you look at him; the way you've looked at him since grade two. It's ok, Ana; I'll be ok. But this is about you. More than anything, I want you- and Christian- to be ok too. And how can you be ok if you're afraid to tell the man that you love that you love him?" "Oh Lucas…" Yep, I was most definitely crying by now. Lucas put his hands securely on my shoulders. "I love you. That's enough, isn't it?" Yes, a smile started blooming across my moist lips. Yes- yes, of course it is.

Satisfied with this, Lucas stepped aside, making way for Christian- literally and metaphorically. Christian simply looked at me with his wonderful, brilliant, breath-taking, perfect smile. I took one step towards him, then another…. then another. Though my eyes were full of tears, I could see him crystal-clear. My arms instinctively lifted up for him, desperate to wrap him; to hold him so close. "I love you… I love you so much." A teardrop fell onto the ground. In complete unison, our arms coiled around each other. Though calm on the outside, Christian's heartbeat could be felt through his shirt. Being back in his arm, feeling safe and valued…. Oh god, how did I ever let him this long? I never found an answer to that question. "I love you too; I always have."

Lucas watched us and kept on smiling happily. "Thank you for looking after our girl all these years, Lucas." "No thanks required. I'm not going anywhere, so you never have to worry." "I'm so glad…" Christian's grip tightened, if that were possible. I could have spent the rest of my life in those lovely, protective arms. "My Anastasia- my rose, my color…. my sunshine," he kept smelling my hair over and over. "I'm so sorry, Christian." "No, don't apologize; there's nothing to be sorry about. Just let me hold you…." His eyes shut as he melted into the whole experience that was us embracing.

"You have no idea how long I've waited for this; to hear you sigh, safe here in my arms." To feel my pink angel's warm hands touching me again. And now that she was here, finally in my arms, there was no way I'd ever be able to let her go; so I didn't. I simply didn't; I held her, and never let go.

_And they all lived happily ever after._


	30. Thanks for Reading!

Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed the story. If you want me to write more Christian/Ana, or other fanfics, let me know!

Thanks again for reading- I appreciate all my readers!


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